Slowly awakening in a dimly lit room
I hear people talking softly, sniffling
Into hankerchiefs, moaning occasionally
Then saying, "I think she is waking up."
Fighting my way through a cotton candy web
Of drugged sleep, I turn to the voices
Trying to make out their faces, finally realizing
That my family and friends are gathered near.
Why are they all so quiet? They should be
Rejoicing with me, for I have just given birth
To my first baby. Searching the room, I saw
Flowers in vases, cards lined up on the dresser
Displayed in a room of silence.
So thirsty. My tired voice asks
"Can I have some water, please?
The nurse at my side, lovingly lifting
My head to quench my thirst.
Smiling down at me with such empathy
In her eyes, I ask, "Can I see my baby now?
Did I have a boy or girl, please tell me?."
Deep sadness shades her eyes.
The husband of my youth came to my side
With tear stained eyes, gently touching my face
"Sweetheart, you have had the baby, only.......
Oh, dear God, I can't tell her, help me please."
Caught in the strong arms of my father, my husband
Told me about the stillborn birth of my baby boy
Perfect in every way, but strangled on the umbilical
Cord just before the labor pains started.
When I heard the keening voice of the bereaved,
I wished the sound would stop. Suddenly realizing
the sound was coming from my broken heart,
The nurse arrived with a needle, blocking out the
Sounds of tears and heartache as I slipped
Away into total darkness.
I will never forget the day I left the hospital
The day was bright with the promise of Spring
In stark contrast to the aching realization that
I would be leaving today without my baby.
Looking at the statue of St. Vincent, I prayed for
Strength, for the healing of my heart, for another
Child to be born alive and healthy
As I walked out the door empty handed.
Joy L. Hale August 4th, 2011
Copyright 2012
All Rights Reserved
Steve
cathartic. Very touching, Joy
Barbara J.
when i was carried out the door, it was minus a mother ...
GOD BLESS YOU
Tony
I can't imagine the sadness and pain of this, but I can almost, just almost imagine it. Mine were at 14 weeks when I lost them, there were five one after the other. I love the way you have articulated this from so many angles. Beautiful poem!
Blessings,
Christine
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again".
~Author Unknown
God Bless, Dear Joy, and know that I am roaming through your Den to add my comments, for what they are worth.~~~ Just Jim
peace to you and your little angel. ~ Morgan
Regis
This brought tears to my eyes, Joy. May God be with you and give you comfort every day of your life. You will see your baby one day. I could feel your pain in every verse, Joy. God bless you.
Blessings,
~Linda
fee
I must say however, you've done an excellent job of conveying the emotions experienced by all who are affected.
Nicely penned. Thank you Joy. Dick
Christine
and of course it tore at yours, the loss
of life so personal, the life you carried.
i'm not sure we men fully understand a woman's loss
but i do try.
Much love to you,
John
Sorry I cannot hold you close of a minute to tell you, I am so sorry.
Mark