smelling grossly disordered memories
of you and your tuna sandwich
i called you the tuna man, and me
you thought the only love of your life
surely i could have been, but
i counted myself one among too many
among those that smiled upon your voice
and those that fell beneath your face
so lovely so gravefully honest
it was impossible to deny.
relieving my mind of much heavier things
of your laughter and songs
those that seem eternally engraved
carved and solidified in my heart
it seems so impossible to be freed
away and far, completely processed
and filtered and kept clean, i can't
erase your words i've kept so close
much too close i can't say they're not mine.
because you know of my weaknesses
and my frail and imperfect will
once when you start speaking of me
and what you said was my beauty
i remember dying and waking
locked in your embrace and sweet kiss
you made me feel so
much alive i don't know how
should i forgive you
for giving me that which i never deserved
and know i'll never again have.
lifetimes past yet your face lingers
believe me all my best i have tried
still, i have yet to take one more step
at least even one just to move on.
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