I was ready to go. dressed to the nines,
applied extra make-up and was looking so fine.
A TV taping with me as the star.
I’d talk about my book, small town gal who’d gone far.

I checked myself in the looking glass
I thought I was stylin’ I thought I was class.
Then, suddenly I felt that pain in my back.
Better pop my pills, give my back some slack.

So, I hurriedly opened the bottle of pills.
They were small and white and had just been refilled.
I grabbed my purse, turned on my cell phone,
let the dog out then gave him his bone.

Suddenly I noticed a sensation of thirst.
I could have drunk a lake until my stomach burst.
I questioned the thirst, why so sudden and intense?
I drank some water, but I couldn’t be quenched.

I began to feel odd, grabbed onto the counter.
Maybe it was blood sugar, I’d eat a banana.
While I was still lucid, I remembered the pills.
They looked like some others for different ills.

Oh, no I didn’t! I couldn’t have!
Oh my Lord no! Which pills did I grab?
Four pills for back pain were like nothing at all.
Four pills of the other...I’d better make a call!

I called Ed at work, “I’ve taken the wrong pills
I’ll call 911 Gotta go, I’m gettin’ ill”
Scared my poor man within an inch of his life.
He said, “I’m coming! Oh, Lord, help my wife.”

911 said, "stay on the line, now what did you swallow?"
“Calm down, take deep breaths Please don't holler.”
“The ambulance has left and is headed your way.”
“The medic is coming too” “Yes, he’s in my driveway”

No, that’s not him! The truck says, Wadell Pools.
We don’t have a pool, I said. (This woman is a fool)
He’s a volunteer for us and he happens to drive
whatever car he has. He’ll help you stay alive.

So a man with an orange bag walked in my door
took my blood pressure I could hear sirens roar.
I asked the man, “Am I gonna die?”
“Way-ell some uv um do” Who WAS this guy?!

Then up drove the fire truck and up drove a cop,
up drove the ambulance, small-town men on their jobs.
All of those men looking down at me. I said, “I’ve got to go and be on TV!”

“What cha gonna do on a TV show?”
I wrote a book and I’ve just got to go!”
“Man oh man” one of them said, “I’ll be!”
We didn’t know we’d be workin’ on uh celebrity.


I began to feel like I didn’t care. TV or no TV,
I was going to live “up there.”
They took me outside, I felt relaxed and cool.
I passed by the truck that said, “Waddel Pools”

I passed by the fire truck, big shiny red.
I passed by the police car then I passed out in a bed.
I was strapped in an ambulance and moving in slow motion.
I was going somewhere ‘cause I took the wrong potion.

Ed was waiting, dear man that he is.
I saw gray hair growing bit by bit.
My heart had slowed almost to a stop.
I had no blood pressure. It had dropped like a rock.

Six hours I lay there on the edge of life,
gradually coming back into the light.
I finally made it and they unhooked all the tubes.
I’m a tough old bird with a new point of view.