Write Me a Heartfelt Poem About Grandpa and Baked Beans

Write me a heartfelt poem
About grandpa and baked beans,
Write me about those good
Old days of cookouts, burgers
And franks, and how grandpa
Would always tell us one of
His god-awful stories, that
Put us kids right to sleep.

Write me a heartfelt poem
About grandma in her apron,
Always cooking something
In her kitchen — the smell
Alone was enough to drive
Us all away. But nothing
Beats a home-cooked meal.

Write me a heartfelt poem
About your dog Bongo, who’d
Lick your face and wag his
Tail every time you came back
From work and your wife would
Be too tired to make love to you.

Write me about your cats, your
Parakeet, your pet snake, and
Your hamster Larry — the one
Who got stuck in the garbage
Disposal but was gallantly
Rescued by the local
Fire department.

Write me about your teeth
And about the floss you use,
Write me about your mouthwash
And your favorite teddy bear,
That was abused by your big
Brother and left dismembered
In the closet.

Write me about the old timers,
Dozing off in their rocking chairs,
And aunt Bettie and aunt Lucy,
Exchanging recipes.
Write me about church pews
And bible study group and how
You came to know the good Lord
Through the scripture.

Write me about love and all
The clichés it brings up —
Write me about moments
Of erotic ecstasy.

Write me about yourself
And the town where you
Grew up and how mom would
Sing you lullabies
And dad would take you
Fishing.

Write me about those
Simpler times, those nature
Walks with your cousin Phil
And how he molested you
In the woods.

Write me like you never
Wrote before, setting my soul
Afire, tearing off my clothes,
Touching me down there
Until I explode with a
Raging erection.

Write me like you mean it,
Never hold back,
Let it rip and drip,
Let it flow through your
Pen — those incredible
Thoughts of a genius.

Write me the banality
Of what we are,
Reducing me to an antique —
An old porcelain doll
Sold for $5 at a local
Yard sale.

Write me how you feel,
How special we all are,
How misunderstood
And abandoned.

Write me all this and more,
Then throw it all away
Until your mind is completely
Blank.

Then write me a damn good
Poem.


   May 2, 2005 
--Alexander Shaumyan