Comfortable clothes

Channels of rain made their way down through spaces

between her shivering skin and one of Lilly's jackets;

which were always one size too big for her.

This one of the 'not-twin twins' as they used to be known

at school traced her thumb and forefinger along the base

of the garment-

noticing bumps and tucks in the wet padding;

much more than the slicing rain between the shore and

the boat.

Whispering for him to do it, because she was ready now-

humming softly as she waited.

Recalling the time as kids,

when they had both dressed up in Mum's clothes-

a few weeks after the accident; to pretend that

everything was still ok.

If they could see the clothes walking around again-

it meant that she couldn't really be gone.

Then,

Bump went another thought -

about the fight neither of them had really wanted;

needed though, probably.

Shouting and cussing, scratching and biting

and all that hair pulling- until it was finally over.

They had laughed, so loudly before the tears came..

The tug on her hand from the attached shiny yellow

coat and hat brought her back to the moment.

..Crystal blue eyes of her daughter asking when daddy

would be finished. She smiled back "soon angel,

soon"

Central in the lake now, laying the oars down

her husband nodded to the Pastor;

who removed Lilly from the dry of his oilskin

and signaled to the shore with his free hand.

She lifted her daughter to her chest.

Her throat concrete.

Swallowing; she lowered

then fully raised her head, back against the jacket's

collar.

She sensed a warmth flood over her;

knowing that however the pain would now choose

to play itself out-

she had at at least taken her private moment..

to say goodbye.