... Busy trying to shift a bit of block with this rewrite from August 2005! :)) Hope all's well in the AD ballpark xx
GHOST WRITER 2
He leans back from his desk,
elbows resting, hands pressed
lightly prayer-like (touching only
at spread finger-tips), brushing
his lips back and forth, up and down.
His long legs spread in tight jeans
(one foot across the other knee)
he stares through me, lost
in thought, saying nothing.
Lurching forward, he picks
from the ashtray a slowly-burning
cigarette; squinting, takes a
long, hard drag.
Choosing a piece of paper
he reads, head leant on fingers,
cigarette burning down between.
It’s a while before he exhales
thoughts with spent smoke
from his lungs;
dissipating rings merely question:
Did you get that?
This poem makes me feel as though I have walked past a room and and lingered just long enough to witness this exchange for myself. Really good job--love the last line.
A picture-perfect epigram. Jerry Bolton's idea is actually a fantastic one-- (recalling Anne of Green Gable's "Rollings Reliable Baking Powder" episode, I wonder if you'd get $100.00 for it).
It's also a remarkably romantic piece, implying a closeness that only a back-drop of silence can make visible. --Charlie
utterly amazing Kathy
How your first stanza described
my position as I started reading
this fantastic write.......to the "T"
while in the library...where mum was the word....
Most enjoyable reading
Love & peace be with you
WOW! THIS IS EXCELLENT...I SAW, FELT AND HEARD...EVERYTHING! YOU ARE TERRIFIC! BLESSINGS AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING.
LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Kate,
You shouldn't sneak up on me like this...or on my more youthful ghost, rather...but I'm still a smoker...and ever an admirer of your great talents.
Know this gentle stranger myself. You describe him to a tee! Isn't it grand to feel the bruah of air when another is entering your space? There are no words then...just a swallow and a shy bow of the head.
Have you seen Kenny McPhee?
Love,
Susan
Dynamite character sketch, Kate. Wow, was I in the room right along with you. "...he exhales thoughts with spent smoke from his lungs; dissipating rings merely question: Did you get that? Every word, my silence replies." Powerful ending to what could be an excellent opening to a short story(hint, hint). But perfectly imaged just as a poem. Good to read you again! Lin
You have the gift of capturing the essence of moments and being able to recreate them via your verses, thus sharing them so effectively with your readers. Thank you, Kate. Love and best wishes to you,
It is funny how certain poems can trigger our own memories and this one is a prime example. I was once a chain smoker to nth degree and I could so see my ten years ago sitting at my desk working on a song with my cigs close at hand.
fee
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on January 25, 2010
Good to see you again, Kate. Somehow this came off as a Marlboro commercial to me. It had it all. Long-legged, jean wearing guy. A lot of macho in his look, and of course the cigarette and the hard drag and inhale, plus the mesmerizing look that titillates the ladies . . .
Kate, did not catch this when you posted it, it was before my time, but I like it! So "real" and yet so poetic..Nicely done my friend, welcome back have missed you.
Much peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
Indeed KB this is an old poem now that such indoors smoking is illegal.
However, silence often says more than a myriad of words.
Glad you chose cigarette rather than fag.
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Carol
It's also a remarkably romantic piece, implying a closeness that only a back-drop of silence can make visible. --Charlie
Sheila
How your first stanza described
my position as I started reading
this fantastic write.......to the "T"
while in the library...where mum was the word....
Most enjoyable reading
Love & peace be with you
William
LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Eileen
Very well written!
Georg
George C.
Newfie Hugs, Rose
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in America, Karen Lynn in Texas. :D
You shouldn't sneak up on me like this...or on my more youthful ghost, rather...but I'm still a smoker...and ever an admirer of your great talents.
John
Have you seen Kenny McPhee?
Love,
Susan
Regis
fee
Much peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
However, silence often says more than a myriad of words.
Glad you chose cigarette rather than fag.
Keep puff, puff puffing along.