This is my first attempt at rhyme. Please, go ahead and laugh. I did! I received a letter which sparked this
hilarity. It seems, that just when I
need a laugh, something or someone
helps me to see the humor in life.
This is my tribute to the dear, departed Dr. Theodore Seuss.

I checked the mail as I usually do

Always sift through the junk first, do you?

The pleas for funds, who do they think I am?

The catalogs and coupon books, Oh God
the spam!

The spam, the spam, it fell on the floor

Oh it comes, and it comes, and it comes through the door!

"But it slices, it dices, it cleans up the loo"!

Got plenty of gadgets allready, thank you!

A Battery powered mower that folds to store
The contractor's ladder that stands by the door

An electric steamer you never stop filling

If it held enough water, I'd be more than willing

To clean, to clean, to clean up the mess

Yes I'd steam the stove, and I'd steam my dress

I'd steam the windows, and I'd steam the floor

Why, I'd steam every handle on every door

And whilst I was whining and pining my plight

An unusual letter came into sight

Marked 'Official Documents', only for you

'BIOGRAPHICAL DATA REQUESTED' for WHO'S WHO.
Who's Who? Who's Who? Just what is this about?

I can't be the WHOS WHO they're talking about!

I had to quit college because I was ill

If I could have, I would have taken a pill

To finish the last 25 credits of that degree

Who is the WHO they mean? It can't be me!

I have no awards or certifications, save CPR and CNA

Tho on the President's List I did stay

Just who's the WHO who would nominate me anyway?

I'm too independent, a team player I'm not

When I was younger tho, I WAS pretty hot
at playing volleyball and I loved to "spike"

But would that be anything that they'd like?

Oh no no no, it MUST be the singing!

This puzzle has set my ears ringing

Jazz Combo! Jazz Combo! That must be it!

I sang in The Jazz Combo, and Sarah Vaughn was IT!

But I wasn't at Carnegie, no records were made

Just who is the WHO who's decision made
me tear open this letter and laugh and stare

At the invitation written out for me there?

Just what are my accomplishments?

The kind they require, I have none

No publications, but for one:

In Journalism I got an 'A', and was the one who wrote bad poetry(!)

So for explanations, I have none

None, none, none, none, none, NONE!

Still it would be nice, when I'm dead

to be written in the write-up under my head

That a true WHO"S WHO, whomever that might be

Rests in Peace underneath this tree...