She didn't realize it was late
She follows an internal rhythm
But she saw her reflection
in a department store window,
the tired look of gravity
pulling her down
and she didn't recognize the face
so disparate from how she felt
inside
and suddenly felt out of place
among trendy women
with pinched mouths who vomited
to a size '4'
or is it now down to '0'?

                   ~

She's gone within
Maybe she should pay
more attention to the billboard,
advertise her wares
cut away her character
become one of those manikins
with a plastic face and smile
lifted and tucked into a dream

   "Beauty is as beauty does,"

was the admonishment
of her mother,
tssking at her daughter's
nose in books and ears in music
and hands creating beauty
that her mother wished
would reflect on her--
but through other's eyes
 
   "She had enough of her own, why
    did she need me to be a mirror?"

She'll never forget the time
her mother said,

   "Oh remember when you were
    ill and you lost so much weight?
    You never looked so good!"

That was when her hipbones
screamed through her clothes
and she had model cheeks
all eyes and a swan neck but
it hurt to even move

                    ~

My friend swims in the deep end
At times
she thought she'd drown there
alone

    "It would serve you right!",
     she can hear her mother say

Now, knowing worth wraught
by the very depths
which changed her contours
and grooved laughs into her face--
she'd dry off, join the crowd
worship the artificial sun
in one of those plastic coffins but
according to those who love her
she's far too beautiful

(c) Linda Gayton 2006