this is for an old friend

we used to stay up
all night
smoking jays and
discussing obscure
topics
tony

he used to draw
funny little sketches
on any paper he could find
like the one
where jesus was a biker
kicking the devil's
ass

hanging out
with him and
his girlfriend
she was beautiful
like a mysterious
garden
behind an
abandoned house

and your sister
who took those pictures
catching love
in black and white
a lovely reflection of you

getting high in your room
reading art books
and explaining
the finer points
of tattooing and
taino culture and
jujitsu and
why fat girls
are better in bed
though your girlfriend
was as thin
as a prayer

you always gave good advice
but would never take any
a walking disaster
who would never be touched

sorry i left
without warning
but these things happen

i went back recently
to the studio you worked at
and asked the hot girl
at the desk where you were
"that f***er is gone!"
i asked where
"who gives a shit,
as long as he's gone,
and his shitty art!"

she wasn't so hot
after that

i looked high and low
and then even lower
but you had gone
your graceful sister
your beautiful girlfriend
your advice
your art
all of it
all i have left
are the tattoos
you gave me
and these will fade
eventually

i hope you have
some love where you're
going
and when you get there
i hope you stay
just so i know
you finally found
a place
because that's the one
thing
people like us
almost never find
tony

just in case
you read this