This is what ran through my mind as I stood on familiar ground, and cried cause we had to drop off my friend's niece at that fancy name for a nuthouse.
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Why Does It Hurt To Smile?
By Barbara Lynn Terry

The stars at night are beautifil and bright,
And I just stare at them with a sad, empty gaze,
Cause I have to spend all of my days,
In seclusion from the world,.
Cause they said I needed help for wanting to be a girl.
I cried and I cried, but no one heard, no one cared,
And from outside they could not see my lonely stare,
As I lie on my bed, in my room alone,
Hugging my pillow, when it should have been my teddy bear.
I look sadly out at the stars that shine,
Brightly and sparkling in the night time sky.
Oh why does it hurt so much to smile?

Sunday I came back home, from a visit north,
But had to stop, to take back a young girl,
To that awful place I couldn't abide in all the world.
The buildings I knew are gone now,
New ones in their place as the undertow
Of treatment goes ever so slow,
From a place that refuses to see,
That there is still a girl in me.
As I look up at the sky,
I ask myself this question and sigh;
Oh why does it hurt so much to smile,
And why must I...for the rest of my life...cry?



© 2005 By Barbara Lynn Terry