I promised myself when this failed in 1962, that I would only commit suicide in my diary, my stories, and my poems. But these thoughts did run through me when I was in the institutions.
The Knife So Deep by Barbara Lynn Terry
Why can't I plunge the knife in deep, And let this liquid so red seep, Into the ground from where I came? To me the world is all the same, Bigoted, hateful and me they blame, For everything from the Big Bang, To the choir that never sang.
Why do these eyes shed tears, Like a torrential downpour, Of sadness for my very fears, That keep me from my hapiness?
I never wanted money or fame, All I ever wanted to claim, Was to be my mother's daughter, But no one cared or even bothered, to see what was good for me, Cause this girl they refused to let me be.
Oh why? Why can't I plunge this knife so deep, And let this liquid so red seep, Into the ground from where I came, Cause the world is all the same?
If you would have plunged the knife so deep then I would not have been able to read your poetry and we would have never ever met. You really have expressed this to the depths. This is from your heart and the reader feels it. Well done my friend. Things in life often makes us turn into quitters but then we survive and live to write about our feelings.
Once upon a time, many decades ago, I sat locked in a room, with a gun and a Bible...........JESUS SAVES.
We are all in the battles of Life together, Barbie.
Thank you for your powerful witness. Praise God you lived, too!
Blessings, Rhonda
Reviewed by Jill Carpenter (Reader)
Reviewed on October 3, 2006
There is such pain in this poem it almost takes my breath away. It is a tribute to the strength of your spirit, Barbara, that you not only chose to live but to write about your experiences, and to use that writing to help your spirit grow even stronger. This is a very moving poem.
Jill
How sad that you had to go through these times, but I know you are stronger for them now. Many have gone through these thoughts for many reasons. A deep personal write, Barbara. Excellent!
Strong emotions and deep longings can push a persons soul to the very brink of the edge of life and only a stronger will to live or a strong desire can save them and offer a lifeline, this poem shows you must have found your lifeline along the way. Well done Barbie
I once watched a show on the TV in which some women was born as women, but later had changed themselves to men; and when they came out to the stage, people clapped and clapped.
But why is it the other way aren't welcome? Why can't men who were born as men change themselves to women? I czn understand where your pain comes from. If only you have the acceptance from your mother abnd your family, it would make the world of difference for you. Both you and them would lead much much happier lives!!! I do believe that our lives are in our hands, whether or not we can make happiness happen rely solely upon ourselves.
Hope things will turn out for the better for you, Barbara!!!
(Self-published. Please contact author directly to order.)
Enter the pages of diaspora in quiet introspection. Bathe your thoughts with subtle humor; synchronize your spirit-sense with history-in-heat; fall headlong with eyes wide open into
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Regis
Helen (((HUGS)))
We are all in the battles of Life together, Barbie.
Thank you for your powerful witness. Praise God you lived, too!
Blessings, Rhonda
Jill
Peace. Joyce
Fee
Love Rebecca
I once watched a show on the TV in which some women was born as women, but later had changed themselves to men; and when they came out to the stage, people clapped and clapped.
But why is it the other way aren't welcome? Why can't men who were born as men change themselves to women? I czn understand where your pain comes from. If only you have the acceptance from your mother abnd your family, it would make the world of difference for you. Both you and them would lead much much happier lives!!! I do believe that our lives are in our hands, whether or not we can make happiness happen rely solely upon ourselves.
Hope things will turn out for the better for you, Barbara!!!
Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o(