Sometimes God speaks to me
bringing messages I don't want to hear
Sometimes I see things
in clear visions of thoughts I fear
Today was one of those days
where truth lead to dismay

A subtle sign
of seeming insignificance
Blantant in appearance
made clear its relevance
And with it my own, or rather
the lack thereof

I was left to realize
without mistaken interpretation
that my own contrived importance
was just that and nothing more

Though I yearned to be remarkable
or upheld in greater stature
I realized I was nothing special
in your eyes and heart I held
no separate space

After nearly twenty years of friendship
I was just a generic gift
Nothing special or unique
I didn't even warrant something different

How silly of me to think otherwise
to have spent decades
with blinders on my eyes
and now when I think of you
I am repulsed and in disgust

Yet realizing it is nothing more
than a mirror I uphold
to reflect the feelings which are
in fact, reflected to myself

I've been a fool so long
for believing a lie, I told myself
You are nothing more that that
which you have always been
And it is I, who have deceived myself
As always, in the end.

Sudo Nym ~ Poet in Motion
All Rights Reserved  April, 2010