Why slam me with your waves, you, mighty Ocean?

My ashes I commit to you abyss.

Why push me towards land I’m destined to depart?

The ash your waves will soon embrace

Was witness of my soul’s protracted anguish.

I come to you to let you know

Who’s ash you’ll raise on foamy crest

And smash with fury on the land

Where love I failed to find.

Do you recall the fragrance of spring air,

Permeated with sweet anticipation of unknown

And empty promises galore?

You’ve seen a lot, but never had to witness

The lilacs’ bloom, the way one’s head is spinning

From scent of tiny florets in the breath of wind.

That scent was filled with promises of love

When days I spent alone on your shore

And trembled in sweet anticipation

Of one my dreams created to appear

Among the crests of waves.

The stars at me were laughing at a distance

When I was sharing thoughts with silver moon

Of how happy I would be

When love would finally come for me.

I was in heaven of unearthly love

When finally I met the one and only

Who found its home forever in my heart.

You’ve seen the shipwrecks and you heard the screaming

Of human souls to your depth departing,

But never seen a single shipwrecked heart

That sinks in love and screams, of love depraved.

You know well, when violent storm is raging,

The fury of the squall swells waves to awesome height

And slams them into land with frightful force

As if it is the nemesis of yours.

Likewise love slammed me in its wake,

The weeping of my soul unheard remained by one

Who left that love behind in my possession.

The lilac kept on blooming, yet the wind

The tiny blossoms less and less was bringing

And stopped its hushed insinuations

That love was soon to find me.

The yellow leaves remained the sole reminder.

They fell in troves when love would lose its way

On long and winding road to me.

Behold, my life is nearing its end

And love is no longer a must-have.

The eyes stare sadly at the falling leaves

They give way to the future blossoms

In spring to grace the branch, convinced

Of their eternal bloom until the autumn blast

Will turn their blissful dreams in gloom and dust.

You’ve seen a lot, yet grossly unaware

Of how sad it is to say goodbye to Earth

Although the love’s not there.

To never be deceived by wishful dreams

That can be heard in whispers of the stream,

And never to behold the lilacs’ bloom

From dark confines of somber earthly tomb.

While days will dawn, and sun will rise,

Oblivious to my demise.

And others will, forsaken fright,

Chat with the moon on sleepless nights.

The lilacs’ blossoms wind will bring

To other ones who’ll see the spring.

As if you never walked the Earth

As if the sun for you didn’t shine,

As if the moon never consoled you

When loved one went away for good.

You see, the ocean, how much pain

And chagrin was in her, who’s ash

You’ll slam upon your sandy shore

Like withered flower, nothing more.

Yet I am ready to commit

My wretched ash to your abyss,

I missed your freedom and expanse

Until I turned into the ash.

By Liana Margiva

Translated from Russian by A. Kardiukov