I made it with you

& now you are a ghost

A summer way back when

High & too much beer was trouble

And I didn't say no

Because you worshipped me

& I hated myself

I was so young then & so lost

You had spent weeks showing up

At my house with dandelions

& begging for just one kiss

Or you swore you would die

A beautiful boy dotted with freckles

With long shiny hair & a wide smile 

Bursting with laughter & joy

Years later you'd still ask too often

If I remembered that night

I'd tell you to shut up

Because I was ashamed of you

& more ashamed of myself

Though you'd bedded lots of girls

You'd say I  made the sweetest love

As if it had happened yesterday

& I was a goddess of Eros

Like I was an amazing lover

With a sense of wonder in your voice

& all I could do was run

Knowing I had hurt you by giving

Too much &  too little of myself

Because I did not feel more for you

But to be fair, I did not feel much at all

Back in those days when I hardly knew myself

You are gone now because we all

Could not handle your desperation

Because we could not face our own

Your pain that spilled out

Over the edges in public places

Crying out for help too loudly

The truth is that you

Made the sweetest love in life

It was too much caring, too much feeling

For a world grown so cold

You loved too much to make it

& in the end you drank too deep

Of our shame, of our heads turned away

Because we could not face the truth

Of ourselves, of our pasts, of you.