I love to experiment with words, and this poem is one such experimentation.
I took a couple of paragraphs from my book, Impending Danger, and poetically characterized a main character who has amnesia after witnessing a shocking murder. The book is scheduled for publication in the next few weeks.
Memories in a Silent Grave
She was young, beautiful, and an angel With no memory of the first ten years of her life. When she stepped into her parents’ room It was like walking back into the past, Of empty memories determined to escape her.
Her eyes raked her father’s things with love, Her lips quivered with the threat of tears. She touched personal items somehow familiar Stirring a strong sense of déjà vu
Cavorting with deep melancholy in her chest.
Everything in the room was strange to her; Yet, she did not feel like a stranger here. She felt a sense of connectivity to this room, Visualizing herself as a child waking in the mornings Running to this room to crawl beneath warm sheets With loving parents.
A swelling pang pushed at the walls of her chest, All the years of wondering who she was Suddenly congealing like a heavy lump in her throat. She felt her knees weaken and lowered herself To an old shirt once worn by her late father.
She clutched it to her face, smelling his lingering scent, She hugged it in her empty arms, Wondering where the early years had taken her, Years buried in the deep grave of her memory. Would she ever know who she was? Would her memory ever return?
Half a soul, she often thought. I only have half a soul.
YOUR STRONG DESCRIPTIVE SCENE IS UPHELD BY A CHARACTER THAT EMBODIES THIS WORK'S THEME SOLIDLY. A WELL DONE WORK - ENJOYED. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH. JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
We often hear that the pattern of our life's journey is set by the time we are seven. To be a child of ten and have no memory poses a near-impossible burden. How would she know where to go and how if she has no compass?
Before you present your story to us, you suggest her dilemna is the result of traumatic amnesia. But does our young girl know this? And what will it do to her if and when she finds out? (And I have a hunch she's gonna find out all right.)
O, there's a lot to be learned about this poor young girl with only "half a soul." And that by itself tells us of the empty, unfulfilled longing she has, her need to belong, her need to own something from her past. But what?
The truth will out, dear Jeanette: You're nothing but a tease! Me thinks you've been visiting with the moguls of Madison Avenue Marketing 'cause you've got me ready to read before you're even in print.
Is this appetizer from your new novel, Impending Danger?
Time to kick butt and roll the presses before I jump the starting gate. I'm hanging breathless on every word, and you haven't even given me the word yet.
Yes, I'm right: Nothing but a tease!
But I love it.
Richard
P.S.
I didn't tell you how effective your writing was telling us about your young girl's "weak knees," her "heavy lump in her throat," touching her father's shirt to her face, "smelling his lingering scent," hugging it in her empty arms...
Very good. I loved the word usage and the story behind the poem would make a great selling point for the book. You had my full attention throughout the write.
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2007
An amazing write!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2007
Deep moving write that is also a great character sketch.
How captivating to think if ever this were to happen to us...To lose all memories as if lying in a silent grave, and yet, the familiarity of something...but what?
Very intriguing write~
Job well done!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
Ooh, I loved it Jeanette, I was totally captivated by the write...can't wait to read the book...years buried in the deep grave of her memory...half a soul, wow this is powerful and thought provoking words indeed. You've got my curiosity running wild...keep us informed about the progress of the book. I think it will be great!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
David Hightower’s lyrically expansive meditation on the whims of fate and the unpredictability of the human condition fill the pages of THE HANGING MAN DREAMS with thrilling music and mesmerizing imagery. Hightower’s richly infused voice echoes the e
This book represents a thirty-day period of my poetry journal. Each poem addresses
the dominant thoughts occupying my mind during the early morning hours of a given
day.
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Before you present your story to us, you suggest her dilemna is the result of traumatic amnesia. But does our young girl know this? And what will it do to her if and when she finds out? (And I have a hunch she's gonna find out all right.)
O, there's a lot to be learned about this poor young girl with only "half a soul." And that by itself tells us of the empty, unfulfilled longing she has, her need to belong, her need to own something from her past. But what?
The truth will out, dear Jeanette: You're nothing but a tease! Me thinks you've been visiting with the moguls of Madison Avenue Marketing 'cause you've got me ready to read before you're even in print.
Is this appetizer from your new novel, Impending Danger?
Time to kick butt and roll the presses before I jump the starting gate. I'm hanging breathless on every word, and you haven't even given me the word yet.
Yes, I'm right: Nothing but a tease!
But I love it.
Richard
P.S.
I didn't tell you how effective your writing was telling us about your young girl's "weak knees," her "heavy lump in her throat," touching her father's shirt to her face, "smelling his lingering scent," hugging it in her empty arms...
Powerful stuff, Jeanette
Makes for a great read!
Very good. I loved the word usage and the story behind the poem would make a great selling point for the book. You had my full attention throughout the write.
This is riveting and very intriguing! It leaves the reader wanting to read the book! Excellent write, and the best of luck with your book.
~Linda~
Very intriguing write~
Job well done!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
Love,
CJ
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling