Twas the Race before Christmas
                  and all through the track
        Each driver was ready to make his attack.
The tires had been stacked  by the pit crew with care
     With hopes none of them would run out of air.

       The drivers were belted all snug in their seats
Where visions of checkered flags looked mighty sweet.

    When out of the infield there rose such a clatter
                 The crowd sprang to their feet
                    to see what was the matter.
    What sight met their wondering eyes as they rose
     Twas Rusty Wallace punching somebody's nose.

     With eyes like the eagles the spotters they came
                And they turned on their headsets
                    and called them by name
    "On Spencer! On Petty! On Rudd and Jarrett! 
    On Cope! On Speed! On Ward and Jeff Burton!
     At the top of the curve ran 'em into the wall!

          Now gentlemen, start your engines all!"

     More rapid than lightning the Iceman they flew
    With a sack full of cash and the Winston Cup too.
     And then in a twinkling there came to the front
      The bright rainbow colors of Gordon's DuPont.

           Then Bobby Labonte flew by in a flash
While Martin had a breakdown and Spencer a crash.
           Then all at once with a rush and a roar
    There came a new car they had not seen before.

        From bumper to bumper it was painted all red
        North Pole Toy Co. was the sponsor they read.
          With a little old driver so lively and quick
     They all said at once, "Hey, this must be a trick!"

      "A geezer like that shouldn't be driving here!"
  "And why does his pit crew all have pointed ears?"
         The next scheduled pit stop went kinda slow
     For the old fellow stopped at each pit in the row.

        He spent no time at all, but left gas and oil
         A new set of tires, new tools for their toil.
       He asked no endorsement, demanded no fee
             And left only coal for the black #3.

 Childress got on the com and said  Hey Intimidator..
   Want to chew him up now, or sasve him for later?"
 Dale spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
     He gave him a nudge, then broadsided the jerk.

       But the old guy escaped with a zig and a zag
   And crossed over the finish line, right at the flag.
     The old man drove straight up to victory lane
 Grabbed up the trophy and drank some champagne.

     Thanked all his sponsors and took the cash too
 Stole a kiss from Brooke Gordon, and then off he flew
   As he sped out of sight, one last cry did they hear,
    "Merry Christmas to all, better luck next year!"

Written By:
Author Unknown
(no name listed)