If I had one wish
I'd wish you no pain.
I'd wish that I,
could go back into time..

I'd touch your cheek,
brush back your hair,
look in your eyes
dry your sweet tears..

I'd call you my angel
we'd play in the sand
we'd turn up the music
dance hand in hand

I'd turn the light low
when you feared in the dark
I'd read you some stories
till you fell fast asleep

I'd accept the bouquets
you'd given with pride
beautiful dandelions
Picked with such love

I'd take you
Up into my arms
tell you I loved you
and how proud I am

My beautiful child
Gift from above
I thank heaven for you now,
Now that I can

Now that your grown,
gone from my sight
I remember my child
the times you did cry

I sought out, and searched
My time running out
the sand filling faster
filling the glass.

My answers,
To slowly, they finally came.
To save your sweet life
From my same pain

Forgive me my child
For the pain I have caused you
The young years of your life
That forever are lost now

The turmoil's the pain
It's my path you followed
I was to late, to save you from cuts
from all the sharp stones, that lay in the grass.

The answers, life's lessons
Taught generations
Family kept secrets
links of built chains

I've broken them, "Finally"
But your heart had to suffer
The same pain as mine did
Growing up loveless

The links in the chain
To love you, meant death
Not mine but yours
I was keeping you safe

So I kept you alive
So I had thought
By denying you love
That you needed the most..

Hidden so deep
within my own heart,
I finally found,
Our families "secrets"

Belief, Buried deep,
Covered with darkness
ancient secrets of Old,
Silently, coverted.

Where families
can guard them..
And pass them on,
Add a new link,
with each child born.

Uncovered at last
But for you ...To late..
I love you my child
And always I have

Now I can show you
but now you are grown
I can call you and tell you
And wish on the stars

Dear Daughter of mine
You are my hearts delight
I couldn't be prouder
For all that you are

I love you so much
It hurts your so far
I hope that your searching's
are easier now

That when the time comes
And you walk in my shoes
You can give all of your heart
And you can feel loved...

Copyright~ 2002
D.Enise
All Rights Reserved..

*********************************************

To my precious daughter Jaime
Who is grown now,,
And has overcome tremendous odds and obstacle
placed before her by myself, her mother and the generations and generations of hidden covertly taught messages..
She has had to live some of my same pains..
But is living and learning them
Far younger than I had..
I can never go back, and take back the pain..
Give back the love..I had denied her as a young child.
.But I can now
Hold her, without pushing her away, I can love her
And tell her..and feel the pride that I had hidden for so long..

This is a most difficult piece to post.All my life, I loved, cared for, wished to protectinnocent hearts, every stray animal, I found, even as a child..Wishing to give nothing but the happiness in life for my own children, that I had never known..And to find that What I had given to my daughter instead, in her youngest years..Was the same, emotional distance and pain..that I had grown up with.Family Dysfunctions Rob Families..They Rob Children, and every member of the familyIt Robs the parent Twice, once as a child, and then again as a parent..And worse passes the patterns on.Family Dysfunctions come in all Degrees To the Rich and to the PoorVaried Labels~Addictions, Alcohol, the list goes on.But all carry one word"Abuse"Neglect, emotional, physical..Help STOP the Pain...Help Break The ChainsChange the pattern~Turn the TidesSilence is not Golden~*********************************************The link below My Article on Dysfunctional FamilyWithin it's contents, a little of our, my story.What those hidden messages were, what they can look like and how we can hide them from ourselves.It also contains the above poem.I Can Never take back the pain, the tears~ But through my sharing or our journey, mine and my daughters maybe we can help another child along the way. And Maybe, Hopefully, help break another chain..My daughter is 22 now, living in FLShe's a strong and talented young woman working her way through school.And I love her dearly, we have come a long way.I couldn't be prouder of her!~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Music ~ "ENYA