Where Have I Gone 

May 18, 2026

By Rose Marie Rideout 

Where have I gone, why do I still hurt?

So many years ago, I was so happy, 

I remember I was a loving caring person.

Why do I carry that hurt today, everyday?

Why do I have to be angry with those I love?

If I could only feel what they feel inside,

When I'm always putting them down,

As though I see no good around me.

Inside I know I really need help before

I turn those who love me, turn away.

How can I be a loving, considerate 

Partener. Willing to share a smile.

People know I'm not myself anymore 

And haven't been for thirty years.

I feel as though I have a sore spot,

It's never healed over the years.

Now I hurt those closest to me,

Every minute of everyday.

Inside I'm hurting and all I want 

is to return to myself, the way I was.

I see my parents, I  feel their love.

I know they have a true love,

I see how happy they are always 

will be until their last breath.

They never speak unkind to each other.

They encourage each other and always 

put each other first.

All I want is to go back to being the

kind, caring and happy person I was.

I know I need help, I can't reach myself 

By myself. I don't want to push people away. 

I hear them saying,

Why can't you just be a happy person?

Why do you always have to criticize?

What makes you hurtful to those closest to you?

Where have I gone?

Please let me come back to myself.

Where have I gone?