Rednecks Like Christmas Too
By La Belle Rouge


Twas the night before Christmas
And Bubba and me
drank us some beer and watched TV
The stockins was hung
on deer antlers on the wall
The Ole Lady and the kids
was asleep down the hall

When out in the road
we heard a humongus rattle
like big tommy guns
in a gangland battle
So out the door
we run like a rabbit
Trouble in the trailer park…
it was just our habit

Then what to our
half drunk eyes should appear
but Santa in the road
with a case of Coors beer
He was dressed all in red
his beard was dirty and tangled
pulling his Harley Hawg
was three donkeys he had wrangled

He said, “Howdy Boys,
would you like a cold one
Trailer park’s my last stop
I’m just about done”
Then with his middle finger
he gave us the bird
“Ya’ll been real naughty,
that’s what Santa’s heard”

“But here’s a case of beer
and a new camo huntin cap
two tickets to that club
where girls dance on your lap
I really should be going
My arrival The Mrs. is expecting
and a little holiday bang bang
she won’t be rejecting

He revved up the engine
and pulled down his goggles
The sound of that red Hawg
was so sweet it mind boggles
He called to his donkeys
with a shout he exclaimed
On Billy Bob, On Clarence
On What’s Your Name

He sped away but I heard him holler
as he yelled out our names
“Ya’ll be better next year
or you won’t get a damn thing!”



12/13/2009 La Belle Rouge