Why Do I Try?

There are times, when I find myself

Outside myself, looking back and

Only seeing this horrid face staring

At me.  Terrible person! 

There are times, when I find myself

Outside myself, looking back and

Truly seeing the beauty within starring

At me.  This face, tis a fleeting thing.

Then, there are those times where I

Know deep down, I am alone.  Not

Because I choose to be, but due to

My insecurities.  Spoken images taken

The wrong way, misread tones leave

Me teary eyed and hateful. 

There are days, when I’m confident, yes

I have them.  Yet, within moments of

Such emotion it is gone, fleeting into

Some sort of vapourous fog of depression.

Why I write, why I share, I do not know.

I just know that people hurt me, because

I let them in. 

Why do I put down my guard?!

All it does is bring pain!!!

This is my soul, this is ME that

People often read.  Why do I try,

All it does is bring me pain.  But

Here I am, sharing once again,

The pain I hold within. 

(c) 2003 A Riddle