This started off as being a dream state type write ... a yearning of sorts then the whole strength ideal kicked in and ended up being a poem thanking my Nanny & her mom Great Nanny for being the strong women they were. Northern German women are strong women! Stubborn too, to say the least.

If only I could see thy smile.
In my imagination, I can see
thee, that boyish grin. With
eyes lit up and lips parted
ear to ear. I can even hear
thine laughter there, in mine
dreams that is. For this is
where I dwell, most of the
time. It's safer there, away
from mine own living Hell.

Yes, there are serious moments
here. But, on a whim thou hath
gone from serious to laughter
within a breath! Cast that ever
contemplative look to me then
burst into laughter, so hard that
tears come to the eyes.

Yet, this is only in my dreams and
I so long to stay here, in these lost
dreams o' mine. Where laughter
staves off the tears of depression
and breakdowns.

I'm fighting, but my breakdown, it's
hidden. Thy cannot see it. I have
to hide it. This is no way to live! I
want to be held within arms that
comfort, not hate. I know that there
is more to life than what I have now.
I've tasted it!

Alas, I must retreat to within. I have
these words. I have merely an image
of such a grand and understanding soul.
I reach out with open arms and tremble,
within my own mind. I have strength to
share. Us German women, we are strong.
That is the lesson I have learned from
my grandmother.

Thanks Nanny. Great Nanny, there is no
shame in our heritage. We rise up and
spit upon Hitler's shoe! We're in America,
and for that Lena Weber, I thank you so
very much for starting our family here with
Doc Paxton.