I titled this poem, Taking the Mask Off because I was not true to myself. I was living a lie, believing I was well mentally and spiritually. I did not have peace of mind and spirit. I ran
from the pain I deeply felt. I was like a fugitive running from my own life. I did not want to face the fact that I had to confront the many issues I hid for so many years. It was too real, it was too painful, and it was too true .

The truth is something we should embrace; but when truth taps you on the shoulder, we ignore it. Why do we ignore the truth? What is it about the truth that we do not want to confront?
Is it too painful? Is it like staring in the mirror? My truth was that
I was very bitter and angry about so many things and at so many
people who had hurt me. I covered up the pain by getting into many unhealthy relationships. My choice of what I thought were good friendships always ended. Either we stopped speaking or
it would be something very stupid that would cause resentment between both parties. It got to the point where I only embraced a few people to be within my circle.

When I turned thirty-one, something very devastating happened to me. My youngest son was diagnosed with Autism. I began to feel many strange emotions. The news of his diagnosis triggered the pain I had been carrying for thirty-one years! It took me seeing my child struggle, with so many challenges, that I had to come clean so I could be there for him and my oldest son. If
I did not deal with my own issues, I could not effectively help him with his. The saying “God works in mysterious ways” is true , because having a child with special needs became training for me to birth out love, forgiveness, compassion, and patience.

It pushed me to answer the tap of truth that was standing next to me the whole time.

I had to be honest with myself so God could heal me because self-denial is like playing Russian roulette. One day you may fire a round, if you keep pulling the trigger. I realize how life is a journey and in order to survive life’s trials and tribulations, you
need a tour guide to warn you of the one-ways, the detours, the cliffs, and dead ends. My tour guide is the Lord. Although my grandmother took me to church, I did not believe in God because I was a victim of pain and I blamed Him. When I turned twenty-
four, I began to believe because, by that time, I had so many life
and death moments that I had to believe that a higher power was in operation for me.

In 00 , I was struck with viral meningitis to the membrane.

I was hospitalized for two weeks. My kidneys began to shut down and if it were not for God answering the prayers of people and my own faith in Him, I know I would not be here now. Now
at thirty-three, I am taking God and life seriously. I cannot be phony with others or myself. For what? God is my judge and Taking the Mask Off
He knows me better than I know myself. I truly believe He was with me all along. Facing the truth about you can cause you not to sweat the small stuff and to accept people for who they are,
without being judgmental. We all have things we struggle with,
whether it is privately or openly, but we must take off the mask
so we can uncover those hidden things that can only harm us if we do not have truth.

When swelling [being puffed up, having the “big-head”] and pride comes, then emptiness and shame come also, but
when the humble (those who are lowly, who have been pruned [stripped] or chiseled by trial, renounce self [self-guidance]) are skillful [then comes] Godly-wisdom and soundness (Proverbs
11:2 AMP).

Taking the Mask Off has been published in A Life Beyond Limits: Overcoming Private Pain