Here for the mandatory Managing Mental Health Class, which I’ve been doing just fine for six years now, thank you very much, I’m told I’ve got the name wrong.
“Managing Mental Illness, ma’am, not Health, you’ve come to do.” The secretary never looks up to see my yellow shirt or the seasoned face she just assumes.
I wedge myself in between the high-strung woman who squeals that she doesn’t belong here and the giant sleeping man who reeks of cigarettes, looks like death.
The woman tugs at my sleeve to make sure she’s not alone. Reaching down, down I manage to snatch a smile and some words that say, there, you’ll be okay. I’m here.
I remember when I was glassy rabbit eyes and all chatter, ready to bolt but wise enough to hang on for dear life, hoping to find my way home.
Inside the tunnel all is Wonderland, Mad Hatter fun, but I know enough to know I best wait my turn to be told what I already know I need.
Perhaps then, if today is a good day at the office, I or my scared rabbit friend or the man now drooling on my shirt will leave with a prescription
So the world will stop spinning in my case, come back alive in his, stop cutting into her veins and, generally speaking, make the tiniest bit of sense as we manage day by day.
No matter how we "manage it" our spirit and soul are like quivering strands within us which vibrate like antennae, picking up the signals which life throws at us. Some are able to "manage" theirs so it doesn't interfere too much with the "mechanics"; they brace up and get on with the nuts and bolts. Others of us have these spritual "neve-endings" closer to the surface and their tremblings and responses are more visibly affected. I believe each one of us is looking for "Home", whether we would articulate it as that or not - even if we would seem to be content with trogging through life day after day as it is. If we can help even one other person on their way towards their destination, that, in my book, is worth all the mindless paper-shoving that keeps office life ticking all over the globe. We are all often made to feel worthless and useless, whether we are in the maintstream groove of "life" or not... yours, and each of our lives, is a life that is valuable and esteemed as precious and unique - likewise your "rabbit" and "sleeper" and you are playing a vital role in walking their roads with them. As my rock-hero, Rob Thomas, says: "Here's to the enlightened people, who know that EVERYONE in the world is a little f***** up - and that's OK". Anyone who thinks they are not are either blind, delusional... or those who have "been there" and know how to lend a helping hand to others who are now going through it. You speak of reality, here, Dawn. And all the more so, as it is so extreme. I am in awe of your grit, determination and fortitude. You are indeed an inspiration. Bless you. Kate xx
A cross for sure that is not a burden anyone would want.
Some of us seem to have so much more than others, but I guess the saying applies "it will all come out in the wash"...(looking for a bit of levity here;-)...Always superb poetry from you Dawn!
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Some of us seem to have so much more than others, but I guess the saying applies "it will all come out in the wash"...(looking for a bit of levity here;-)...Always superb poetry from you Dawn!