When the pain wells up, my mind takes me
back to the beautiful time…

            …the beautiful time
when new life and possibility was growing inside of me
            before
you demanded out because you were unfit and said
we were better off without you, before long years
with fear tapping on my shoulder and
you were nowhere to be found
and me holding my breath
and alone so long.

            …the beautiful time
when work was joy and, every day, hope rose in me
            before
you turned forty-five degrees a day without warning
ripping the rug out from under, then nodding
your tsk-tsk, too bad-so sad, saying
you wished me God’s best but
to hell with the deep gashes
you inflicted on me.

            …the beautiful time
when you lifted me, breaking and blessing my life,
            before
the cancer came calling twice and claimed you
before your forty-eighth birthday came
and you kept it all a secret from me
before I made my way back home
with good news and great joy
and all my gratitude.

            …the beautiful time
when forgiveness flows as a fountain and peace reigns,
            after
all this passes away, revealing sweet healing alive
between us and working in the way of Love
we thought a luxury we’d missed out upon
after I lay me down to sleep
and prayed the Lord
my soul to keep.