Were you here, you’d tell me that I
am shutting down, skipping out.
Not knowing how to resurrect
decaying possibility in me,
perhaps you would leave
all over again,
too afraid
to watch
me die,
say goodbye.

Considering this,
the process unfolds naturally.
My pain tucked neatly again
beneath soft cover
of satin sky,
I cry.

Thoughts melt and meld,
reform themselves, solidifying
in a massive waxy block,
impenetrable, ever
molding me,
holding me.

Limbs give way and
I become a clumsy clown,
a cartoon version of my
imagined destiny,
dismissed,
not missed..

Life curls in upon itself,
refuses nevertheless to let go
of me. I choke and
cease to breathe
thick, stale air,
cease to care.

Stuttering, my heart stops and starts
with every beat, skipping
over you, but never
over you. Stuck,
I pluck my feathers,
cluck, cluck, cluck,
too afraid
to watch
me die,
say goodbye.