Ten plus one Decembers now
since I reached out, weary of seeking
and not finding work, sustenance, to ask for help
I was committed.

Twenty-one Decembers now
since the night of carols and confusion
in the place you thought best for me then.
I was committed.

And thirty-one Decembers now
since I ran, terrified of you, 
supposed stranger then, got engaged to him.
I was committed.

And forty-one Decembers now
since I went down into the waters and emerged
smiling, beaming really, knowing why I was here.
I was committed.

And fifty-one Decembers now
since I saw shadows dancing on the wall
and begged God to take me back. Still,
I was committed.

It was complete, and I stood
high upon the mountain just last year and made
my peace with December, surrendered all.
I was committed.

And again here in cold December,
barely able to move, eyes red, heart as ever
on the line, I walk by faith, stumbling in the dark.
I am committed.