Farther back, I cannot yet sort it out
but here and now there is something I need
to say in hopes to at least clear the way
for conversation, I hope IRL
but I'm practicing my telepathy
if that's too much for you. What I would say:

I should have been there. You didn't know me.
I didn't know you, but somewhere in me
knew everything hung in balance again
but in some ways less certain, more murky
and unclear. Vaguely I remember
there was a day that out of the blue I

Almost got on a plane to be closer,
to hold whatever energy I could
at bay. I called it grandiose, chastised
myself immediately. Convinced it
would be further insanity, I then,
quite insanely, told myself I must stay

True to falsity, to see it through as I
then thought you had chosen to do many
years before. Now I'm not so sure of that. 
So I want to say I'm sorry I was
not there. It might not have mattered at all.
But my heart can't wait a day to say it.

Forgive me for not doing everything
for maybe the only thing that mattered.
I do not believe in regret but such
sorrow is real. I pray from there you feel 
my sincerity. There may be many
other things I missed and if so I ask

That one day you tell me and allow me
to say I'm sorry, if not in this world
then perhaps the next. So if our paths do
remain removed, perhaps also somewhat
parallel, know that if prayers or presence
should be a comfort, I would give them.