Last night I dreamed of something real,
just a moment really but still...
potent and powerful, shocking
even to me who stands steady
in such revelations. I saw
myself so happy picking up
smooth stones on the shore of the lake
so still. I was just 26
then though I felt a hundred years
or more. We were laughing, in love,
though there was chaos too. I stopped
in my tracks, suddenly had tears
in my eyes but didn't know why.

He was still laughing and calling
me crazy yet entertaining
the eccentricity he loved.
I kept holding a single stone
and looking out across the lake,
stooped to create a makeshift cairn.
He got serious, no doubt a
bit worried that I was going 
to tip in one direction or
the other. Who's it for? he asked.
I said I didn't know, but once
someone must have been here who was
needed for the land. Even I 

Did not understand what was meant.
That night, at fanciest hotel
we ever stayed in came a wind
when we snuck onto the rooftop.
We both felt it and our eyes locked—
some moment among souls who shared
a secret not even we knew.
It was brief, but I see now true .
Later we walked streets so alive,
watched sun set in Canada's skies.
He referenced that day years later,
asked what I thought it was that stirred

On the roof, by the lake that day.
I did not know honestly so
changed the subject to see if he
remembered the butterfly tree
at some restaurant where we ate.
He did and when he replied that
whatever it was it was good,
that something beautiful had
blossomed in me that summer trip.
I thought he was out of his mind
and reminded him of details
of that year. He just smiled and said,
"Yes. And the lake held something true ."

This morning I tried to recall
if I had even made a wish 
at all or skimmed a stone or been
aware of any beginning.
I do not think I did, and yet
the wavering call of the loon
lived deep within my heart's knowing
I would be strong enough. I could
trust that signs would be given me.
I didn't think it consciously
but it was awakening to 
follow its lonely call into
journey to walk through fire and find

Some way home.