You see, to understand my lines and me--

You must glimpse at how I came to be.

Love was mixed with:

One part black man,

One part Asian--

These two parts making me whole.

But this happiness would be no more

When that happy bride entered foreign soil,

She faced a war greater than any soul.

There was no love when an only son

Returned with precious gifts of a girl and boy

Whom he blessed with family namesakes,

Which to me was the greatest mistake!

They assumed that little Asian lady

Knew nothing, was nothing.

But she heard all the whispers,

All the taunts,

All the ugliness.

She heard them all say that her children

Would be nothing, would have nothing.

What I couldn’t understand

Was how the oppressed could oppress,

How the hated could hate,

How a minority could present the same

That generations fought so hard to rise above?

But beyond that, how grandparents could forsake

What was their own to love not break?

I had to prove what was rightfully mine

So I strived to prove them wrong

But what I didn’t know was that--

No varsity letters in the world,

No academic achievements,

No titles of President

Would open the door of their steeled hearts.

This period of my life was dark

Leaving an indelible mark

Because my true grandmother

My mother’s mother

Who never laid eyes on me

Went to God you see.

Now, the honor of my selection

Was cheapened by a cousin’s remark

That I would have to give some in order to get some

That I didn’t have what it takes to be a proud US officer.

To add more hurt to injury

To my grandparents I gave

An invitation to my graduation

For them to witness how well

Their little girl excelled

Hoping to lay aside

All the pain inside

But they ran 

So I broke bread

With my true family and friends.

The academy--I did graduate!

An officer—I did make!

But little did I know was that--

When I married

Many dreams I would slowly bury:

Bearing the burden

Of bread winner and army leader

But while doing God’s will

By fighting for that life inside

Evil spread through and wide

Through his drugs and his delinquency

So a single mother was I destined to be.

So I began to write

To not loose this fight

And a fight it was

Because self defense was probable cause

When men resort to breaking laws

By laying on me unloving hands

Along with their unlawful demands.

So that brings me back to why

In August 2005 what I lost was found;

What I was, was no more!

My creator opened my eyes and heart

To find and to make a brand new start.

So I began to write

From morning to night

Bleeding my heart and soul

In order to become whole.

The ink was all the tears that would cry no more;

The paper was my memory of what would be no more;

The words were my weapon for fists that would defend no more!

I believe that my Creator has this plan

And 33 years ago it began

With that little lady from Japan.

So when my words seem soft

But the message so deep

Listen to my thoughts that I want heard!

Listen to the burdens of my soul!

But don’t give me any sympathy

Because this story is my life!

 
 Copyright 2007.  O. Maxwell.  All rights reserved.