the day began so beautiful
peace filled sleep
and sky blue morning

reading pages like I do
my sight begins to blur
colored prisms dance around
an acid trip of rainbows

beautiful, electric shapes
zig zag patterns of geometry
I know too well its coming on
and command myself, relax

I feel the tightness in my jaw,
sweaty palms and nausea
don’t know if it is just a symptom
or my own fear… anticipation

the beast arrived in childhood
frightening then, furious now
lessons in learning the physical me
traumas suppressed, it won’t let me be

rigormortis begins at my neck
creeping across my teeth
paralyzing ache along my brow
disabling my strength of vision

wishing for mercy, I pray to sleep
I cannot fight, I am too weak

with freight train strength
he battles me, reeling all my senses
Sound is agony, Light is searing
Taste is metallic, and Smell is retching

I watch the beast inside my head
thrusting his dagger through my eyes
horrific pain as he slices and tears
my head explodes from the weight he bares

I wish to escape this painful place
and crawl into your arms
be saved by a knight swift with sword
that slays the beast who hurts me

I’ll lay limp, soothe me to sleep
let the tears run down my cheek
somewhere within I’ll learn the way
because I know… he’s my demon to slay

I surrender.. today he wins.. and I’ll admit defeat
but I’ll survive
and go back to
the time he first arrived
I will learn….then I’ll know….and he’ll admit defeat



debby

*i'm going to go sleep off this headache.......