I walk the yellow line
like everyone else
Then all of a sudden it becomes
zig zagged
Why?
Where is home?
I am all-alone
I sit in this small black room
Wondering...
Wondering when is this madness
going to end?

Will I ever reach
that point
of comprehension
of my family?
Fighting, yelling, abuse
Why?
Family?
Who are they?
People that walk around
saying they know you
pretending to be interested
but really don’t know
a thing about you
I got in my car
and started driving
the road is never-ending

Will I reach home in time?

the sand is slipping
through the hole
of the hour glass
so fast

How can I stop it?

Am I too late?

I begin to hike the mountain trails
as if my life depends upon the climb
searching for some kind
of common ground

Trying to avoid
the never-ending ticking
of the clock

Watching the leaves float
into space
I hear loud voices
in the background
Then the door opened
to the black room
My mother asks me
What am I doing in the dress closet?
I said trying to find a home
She took me
back
to my fathers house

I told her
I still will be all
alone
She said to me
home is inside
ourselves
it is not necessary to hide
Is this really true ?

I walk in the front door
music sounds bouncing off the walls
like a tennis machine
out of control
throughout the house

I went to my room
where quiet is
quite dead
I threw my things on
the bed
I said to myself
I will never have a home...

By Victoria Fries Copyrighted September 1998