ANY TIME ONE GROUPS ALL THOSE YEARS AND EXPERIENCES TOGETHER AND THEN THROWS IN WHAT COULD OR COULD NOT... HAVE OR HAVE NOT HAPPENED...ONE WILL FEEL LIKE THEY ARE 'DROWNING'. I LEARNED THAT FROM YOU...JUST NOW...AT 65, I WILL NEVER TRY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!THANKS FOR THE WARNING.(SMILE) THIS IS A GREAT WRITE THAT WAS SO ENJOYED...THANK YOU FOR SHARING. GOD BLESS.
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Dawn - Loved the way you tied the dripping of the water with the passage of time and its events. It emphasizes her lonliness, leading up to the powerful last stanza:
a poem of universal appeal, dawn.
fabulous execution herein... roiling "sea of life"...
could some of her sleeplessness derive from
the cleansing heat of menopausal symptoms...?
always a pleasure, poetess,
be well,
carolyn
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on August 8, 2009
I see you haven't lost anything in the way of creative juices, Dawn. I also see that you haven't posted in a while. You're email yesterday spoke of the lull in your Muse. She'll be back. She always comes back.
brilliant in concept and, as always, so very well executed and crafted. I love the plainsong language you use here: the narrative is story-like and yet takes us right inside the lucid, clear-eyed mind of a sad personal tale with no emotionalism... just a lot of deep-water emotion acknowledged, pulling her under and yet also bouying her up. I'd love you to elaborate some of your character sketches sometime. There's such a novel in each and every one. xx
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on July 27, 2009
Excellent writing sweet lady...sure have missed you and your lovely writing..I hope things are ok with you ...stay safe and well...Hugss
Superb imagery within these lines, Dawn. Water generally terrifies me, yet...the tap running dry doesn't scare me and in some ways I look forward to being swept away on heavenly ocean currents.:~)
Love your creative way of looking at life, Dawn and thanks for contacting me while away from the Den. I got many more from AD friends and counted them like the drips of water in a sink fixed deep in my soul.
Wow. This write is like looking into a mirror at that age--facing 50, the anxiety about the future while looking behind. I tried to express it through poetry by tip-toeing on the edges, but this nails the emotions, the almost paralyzing dread that you can't wrap yourself around--its just there. And we are right there "beneath the blanket". Brilliant write, Dawn!
This reflection...this musing...this soulful write moves the reader into this world. Dawn, you writing soars with this write. Your abilty to paint a picture with words is outstanding...this is as they say..a keeper. Well done.
Reflection can be the insomnia of life...we tend to view back on the travels of our lives and when we have ran them through our minds we come to the present formation of trying to stay above water...even in our sleep...
This overflows emotion and real life drama, it is like time running out on a soul as it breaks in two from one too many burdens and heartaches. Very nicely done even though it is also heart breaking.
Hugs
Fee
The poem reminds the reader of the shipwreck one that was alone in the middle of the ocean on a leaking small life boat, counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds and reflecting if it all was worth it.
Profound.
Counting associated to drowning made me think of the movie "Drowning By Numbers", by Peter Greenaway. It's an intriguing story, with a particular construction where murders, games and numbers hidden in the background are part of the plot.
Your numbers are used very appropriately, like a rhythm that organically belongs to the poem and to the life of the character that is slowly revealed.
I like the way you used water as an extended metaphor of life, our changing perception of time, our fear of running out of time and of being swept away by the flood. This way, you also give fuller meaning to the cliché "to keep one's head above the water"!
Incredible metaphor Dawn a superb poem very atmospheric!...ET
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on June 19, 2009
What a unique, compelling composition. I love how this gets us right inside the head of your subject. You have such a keen understanding of human nature making your work very relatable to your readers. Who hasn't suffered through nights where the thoughts were as incessant as those drips of water - one. after. the. other. over. and over.
Aside from the struggle with sleeplessness (which occupies
the night for so many of us), I find the concept and executiion
of this exceptional poem fascinating--gripping. Wonderfully
done, Dawn...as always. -gene.
Excellent Dawn. The sincerity of your work always touches my heart. Despite the threads of melancholy running through this, I still can feel a kind of strength to persevere exuding from the soul of your poetic cathartic.
Blessings and love ...
richard
Slaves who fled their masters were classified as insane. This term came from Dr. Samuel Cartwright who was an apologist for slavery in the pre-Civil War era. This release of my Anoka Time file is a look at slavery in the modern context of Minnesota N
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
She lost count somewhere before 250,
then tossed and turned in her sleep
as notions of drowning invaded her dreams,
while she fitfully floundered to keep her
head above water.
Excellent. - David
fabulous execution herein... roiling "sea of life"...
could some of her sleeplessness derive from
the cleansing heat of menopausal symptoms...?
always a pleasure, poetess,
be well,
carolyn
Anna
Sheila
Cryssa
Regis
Thanks for sharing
William
Allen
Nicely done, my dear friend,
Amber "V"
nice work dawn...
Art Sun...
Hugs
Fee
Profound.
Georg
Your numbers are used very appropriately, like a rhythm that organically belongs to the poem and to the life of the character that is slowly revealed.
I like the way you used water as an extended metaphor of life, our changing perception of time, our fear of running out of time and of being swept away by the flood. This way, you also give fuller meaning to the cliché "to keep one's head above the water"!
incredibly detailed and unique poem, Dawn ...
Christine
Be always safe,
Karen
Wonderfully thought-through motif delivered with strength and great confidence in the writing. Among your very best, this is so worthwhile.
John
the night for so many of us), I find the concept and executiion
of this exceptional poem fascinating--gripping. Wonderfully
done, Dawn...as always. -gene.
Hugs,
Marcia
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :)
Blessings and love ...
richard
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Ron
Cheers,
Dan