Oh! You debauched shoe-maker, you!

You’ve turned me into a ranting shrew!

You seem to have no empathy

for my poor feet, or even me.

I’m normally a size five-and-a-half,

you think an eight would slender my calf?

But what they would do to my stubby toes

is much too criminal, as God only knows.

I look down at my feet so bare

and see no toes with center-point there.

Yet, you make shoes that would deform

my feet from what is my natural norm.

But, worst of all is what I see:

that women will buy these demons from thee.

Thus, I here and now do make this offer:

Ladies, don’t buy point-toed shoes; don’t fill the coffer

of manufacturers that would cripple your feet,

and cause bunions that aren’t so sweet.

One day I hope to find some shoes,

that don’t cause me to walk like I’m full of booze.

My feet are really precious to me,

I want to treat them with sympathy;

I want shoes wider than the thorn of a rose -

please do away with those pointed toes!

© Jackie (Micke) Jinks, June 2005