A conversation between two dogs, expressing the other point of view

Bam Bam Boney

Hey Buddy, how ya doing today?
Well, if you have a few minutes I’ll tell ya.
Let’s go behind the house to talk.
She won’t look for me there, I hope.

Oh my, is it that bad? Is she mad at you?
Oh no, she is not, just the opposite.
I’ll tell you Butch, I don’t know what to do?
Calm down Buddy. Your as nervous as a cat.

If I were a cat, I could scratch her.
Buddy, why would you want to do that?
She’s the one who lets you sleep in her bed
And feeds you all the time.

Butch, I tell you, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t.
Take what Buddy, what can’t you take?
Calm down, hey, sit and relax, pant a little bit.
There, now do you feel better now?

Yeah, thanks Butch, I do feel a little better.
Do me a favor? Look around the house
Tell me if you see her at all?
She is not there Buddy. Now tell me.

Well, it happens all the time but today was the last straw.
There I was, sleeping on her bed, all curled up.
I was dreaming about that cute little poodle,
You know the one who lives in the yellow house.

Of course I know her. All us guys drool and pant over her.
Ok, now go on. What happened?
Just as the poodle invited me in to her doghouse
It happened. BAM..BAM ..BAM.

It was the Mistress, banging on my head…over and over and over.
Does the baby want a boney? Bam bam bam.
My head felt like an elevator..up, down, up, down.
NO, I don’t want a boney…I want my head to get off the elevator.

I want to finish my dream about the poodle.
The first time she invites me, even if it was a dream
She’s got to come along and start with the bamming.
Do I want a boney? NO, I just want my headache to go away.

That’s awful Buddy, I can see why you’re so upset.
I have to sit and let them rub, scratch and pat me
After they wake me up. They seem to think I like this.
I don’t know what a dog is to do?

Well, I’ll tell you what I am going to do
The very next time she wakes me from a sound sleep..
Yup, I’m gonna do it. You wait and see.
Oh no, Buddy, not that. Don’t do that!

I am, I just can’t take her bam, bam, bam anymore.
I have no choice, I gotta do something.
Buddy, anything but that. She’ll get the newspaper.
I gotta do it Butch, I just gotta.

While she is right there I am going to get her attention
I’m gonna lift my leg and let it go all over her new couch
Then, while she screams in horror and starts towards me
I’m going to dump on her new white carpet.

After that, I can pretty much count on no more boney’s,
No more head banging and probably no more home.
Oh no, what will you do then Buddy?
Do? Im going to go live in the poddle’s dog house.

There you have it. Straight from the doggies mouth.