Untwist yer knickers, kid.    Happ’ns, happ’ns.
Ha-ha-ha.   Hate t’be the one t’bus’ yer balloon.
But that hard thang  pokin’ jes a li’l strap-on.
Real ‘un waits ‘til ya lose yer senses, en’ BOOM.
 
Wrote a big L on my ches’,  see?  Look at me’
Do I  look like a feller ‘uz strong  as an ox?
All m’teeth fell out  wudn’ knocked out - see?
Alley cats save cans f’me.  Look lak I got th’pox!

Love I di’n kill, Reaper stole.   But do I feel bad?
Stay down, call the un’ertaker.  Ain’ tuk a dive yet!
Et three squares three days in a row – call ‘at sad?
Got smokes an’ still got a brain in my head.

Open yer eyes, see the show’s put on for us.
Think the deb’l ‘an’ a stand-up uz put in charge.
Look up, or you’ll miss the bes’ part.  Up!  UP!
Tha’s it.  Now tell  me  this  ain’ livin’  large.

Wake up in one piece, it’s a great mornin’.
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiive.  You said it!  Like Frank’nstein!
Won’ find me amoanin’ an’ agroanin.’
Smile, dadblagit.   ‘Ere, ‘ave a shota ‘shine.

Got a joke ‘r three we cud trade, I bet.
Bloom o’ health, ‘pears to me.
Got schoolin’. . .fam’ly, frien’s.  No sweat
Gimme yer money, be all set. . . Hee-Hee-Hee. . .

        (c)   Phyllis Jean Green,  2010

                 All  Rights  Reserved