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Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin

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Member Since: Sep, 2008

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Beauty as the Beast
by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin → (All Poetry by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin)
   Rated "R" by the Author.
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I did not really know how to rate this piece. I also did not want to follow the most recent post with it, but with a lighter one, but most of my poetry is trapped inside a broken laptop right now. The title is indeed a double entendre, but not just as in the meaning in the first part; it also means that it takes two to tango, as they say. Relationships are complicated. Love is close to hate, all that. I consider this my most polished, tightest piece. By the way, in performing this one, I take a sharp intake of breath right before the first word of the last stanza, and look up, because the object is not in the hand of the fallen "beast," but in another hand. I welcome all feedback; in fact, I welcome negative feedback on anything I do. Please do not refrain from writing me simply because your feedback is negative. I am the eternal student. I welcome your thoughts on how I can improve my writing.

BEAUTY AS THE BEAST

 

She saw herself fall

   like large prey

   on public TV

Thud, to the floor,

    huge hulk of pearl flesh

    life-giving body,

Postpartum fresh,

   down, down by the

    dust-crusted piano;

Supine, slack -

    parallel to the ivories,

    dumb white, dumb black.

Ineffable the pummel;

    the sound unsound;

   the resistance of ground -

Unholy capo clasped,

   transforming the tenor

    of future, of past.

 

Copyright Julianza Shavin

 

 

 


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 Reviews of "Beauty as the Beast"
Reviewed by Androsedek Malkye (Reader)
Reviewed on October 7, 2008
It seems that the closing line could use an improvement. You could also re-set the verse lines. I know that you will like it better when the lines of this poem become poetic verselines.

I have enjoyed the contents of "Beauty as the Beast".


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