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Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin

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Member Since: Sep, 2008

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Something About Ducks
by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin → (All Poetry by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Another from the two-day marathon. Remember: new (and old) readers: scroll down! My girls are 21 and 9. Trouble with formatting the title and one line here, no matter how many swipes with editing. The universe is relentless in its need to contain me. It doesn't realize that I am a double-Aries, i.e. very stubborn. The title is correctly sized here, but shows up small; same with that line. This is not a huge crisis in the scheme of things. Oh yes, it may be obvious but ....the phrase "my daughter's lead" ...lead is pronounced like lead in a pencil.

  Something About Ducks


Across from me is a brick fireplace

reaching to the ceiling.  I hate staring

at bricks, so on the lone shelf sits a

pencil drawing my daughter produced

in high school when studying perspective.

In the foreground float six rectangles, Dali-esque.

The road is sketched in gray and white rectangles,

narrowing and lightening appropriately,

and in the distance beckons a city. 

This is my window, my daughter's lead.

I don't like cities any more than bricks,

but  the work is masterful in depicting

an impossible goal.  That city is like

the Emerald one, gleaming with fake forecasts

for lions, little girls, and men of straw.

Also, perhaps, for tin women whose hearts

are too hollow to embrace baked clay.

But wait; those seekers all got what they desired.

I'm confused now.

I remember her childish stick figures

with enormous faces and sloppy lopsided smiles.

At two, she drew a trunkless happy head

lolling in a dreamy Van Gogh sky.

Things were easier when my daughter was my only window

her sweet scent, downy hair, fair face,

her tiny hand circling my finger as we swished a swath

of tallish grass to feed some funky ducks,

way, way before her confounding prognostications.

Luckily, I have another daughter.

She'll be a scientist.

Her pronouncements will all be concrete,

like that which binds brick..

 

Copyright Julianza Shavin 2008

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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 Reviews of "Something About Ducks"
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on October 24, 2008
A wonderful heartwarming look into the love you hold in your heart for your daughters......

Be always sasfe,
Karen

Reviewed on October 24, 2008
I love the way you write. You set the scene with your opening line, and compel the reader to go on to a totally satisfying ending - a story in verse - well done. There's something about ducks: Daddy loved 'em, too.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on October 24, 2008
You have such an assertiveness to your work - unapologetic, shooting straight and to the point, yet with just enough artful embellishment to add delightfully to the images you create.

Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Reviewed on October 24, 2008
I can't help it, Julie. I love this. Except for the use of bold
oversized type in the one line. I'm a kinda quiet guy myself. -gene.

Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines (Reader)
Reviewed on October 24, 2008
Funky ducks are good people, and your oversized "I don't like cities any more than bricks" adds an element of attitude to this work. Double Aries, huh? That accounts for the wild sparks of art :-)

Ted


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