I could see it in his eyes,
The dry tears, the pain, the contemplation.
He looked me over and said I did well,
But I know he was thinking "Here's another Jason."
Every time I screw up,
Or do something wrong,
He thinks of the hell of my brother,
That he put up with for so long.
I wish he'd give me a chance,
To prove I'm not headed that way.
But he only has the past,
Jason, do you see how for you I have to pay?
Yes, Jason is messed up,
And he is 31 and acts my age.
But I've seen Jason drunk and high,
And I know of his dizziness and rage.
My dad and I will never have a relationship,
All he does is focus on raising me differently,
Than the son he never had,
Yet he can't see,
I'm not another Jason,
I'm the perfect daughter he always asked for.
But he see's right past that,
Because I got two B minuses on my quarter report.
My dad was reading my report card with two b-'s (an f in his eyes) and he told me it was great, but his voice and his eyes said, oh, here comes another jason. If you've read Your Addiction about my Maldepressant (sp?) Alcoholic, and Drug addict brother, that's Jason. and dad can't get past him and on to me and Jenna to see how good we really are.
You write so honestly. You are brave, Kacie. I hope your dad has gone past that and really "see" you. My words do not do justice to what you express here. I wish you all good things.
Regis
Reviewed by Tulula Tadswickle (Reader)
Reviewed on November 22, 2002
Kaci! this poem was great very sad but it showed a lot of feeling and wooooow!
Reviewed by Sarah Beara (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2002
great poem kc, I don't know exactly how you feel but I almost felt what you must be feeling just by reading your poem. Great write!
Reviewed by ♥ Kari Hirshey ♥ (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2002
Wow, this is great KC, I love it. You are in no way another Jason, and I don't think that your dad thinks that ither. :)~Kari~
Reviewed by Nikki Cassidee (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2002
great poem kaci i feel your pain...i havent told anyone this but thats whats happening to me too.
Don't be too hard on yourself ~Kå¢ï~, you're doing great, and don't think of Jason as a failure either. It is not fair.
Parents should never compared one child with another, each child has his/her unique quality. They should focus on the child's good qualities and let them develop. I'm sure both you and Jason each have unique good qualities and sometimes, if parents can look further past the surfaces, very special children can be found.
Don't ever think like you do about yourself and Jason, it is not fair for both Jason and yourself.
Sit down and make a list of your own good qualities and encourage Jason to do the same, and focus on your good points. You may show this post of my to your parents if you like.
kaci, just do the best you can do. my parents did the same thing to karla and me; as she says in her review our two older sisters were in mensa, and they are gifted. we weren't, and we were ALWAYS being compared to them; and i HATED IT!! favoritism SUCKS!! good ranting; rant on, baby girl! love you, kiddo! your friend, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) :)
strong, courageous write...do the best you can...that's all you can do. my two oldest sisters are geniuses, members of mensa...didn't have to crack a book...straight "a's"...while i had to struggle to get "c's" and "d's." i loved school, it just wasn't easy for me...got tired of the comparisons...but i know i did my best. keep writing, dear...(((HUGS))) and i understand...love, karla. :(
Reviewed by Cathy Montgomery (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2002
I ditto what Roger says--"Hang in there." This is good--expressive write!
This book is for all first responders (law enforcement, fire, or other emergency personnel) who are or want to be supervisors in their agencies. It goes through all facets of good leadership.
At last, a version of Simple Steps to Sentence Sense for younger students and those whose native language is not English. Students can learn to analyze sentences in 5 easy steps.
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Regis
Parents should never compared one child with another, each child has his/her unique quality. They should focus on the child's good qualities and let them develop. I'm sure both you and Jason each have unique good qualities and sometimes, if parents can look further past the surfaces, very special children can be found.
Don't ever think like you do about yourself and Jason, it is not fair for both Jason and yourself.
Sit down and make a list of your own good qualities and encourage Jason to do the same, and focus on your good points. You may show this post of my to your parents if you like.
Sandie Angel :o) / May Lu $*_*$