Sitting here...waiting...knowing
Knowing that it is all ending
It's not the end that causes my grief
But what will happen because of it
How many years I have spent
being a wife and mother
How much I have given to it all
To have it all one day taken from me
It is deploreable...sickening..frustrating
Frustrating that with out money
With out friends of friends of friends
I will loose all
I will loose my children
My home...my pets
We sit here waiting for the electric
to be turned off
The land rent is due as well as
the house payment
I put in resume after resume
Only to be turned down again
Not just grief ...frustration...but anger
Anger that I can't get a job now
After years of your abuse
Constant put down
All the sickness that has come from it
No one wants to hire that
They see it when I walk in a door
Besides I have such lack of experience
I cry...scream...damn you
I damn you and all you are
How can I raise my children now
I love them like no one else
But now they have to be dispersed
like our pets
Like common belongings
Shipped off to others
Who isn't their mother
I cry silent tears of anger....hurt....frustration
Frustration because I can find no help
No lawyers to help
He will get away with it all
He will get everything and leave us
nothing but debt
I silently scream the unfairness of it all
No one will touch me because
I have no money
And because of it I will loose all
My beautiful girls will loose the most
They will be short a mom
To live in a mans world
In a world of money
Is to be alone
I feel...feel...
About this poem:
Damn men..damn money and damn the poeple who have the power and resources and funds to help and don't...In the end it is poeple like me and my children who will have justice..maybe not here, but somewhere...It has to be.......Silently weeping I close. For I know not if I will ever be able to be back on and share my words. It takes money..it takes access to the internet..and I won't even have a home come Wednesday or my kids or my long time pets..I will be another statistic on the streets and forgotten. Because everywhere I turned I was turned down....for lack of funds...forget whatI have lived with these 16 yrs. It doesn't matter, without money I am not worthy of help. Goodbye
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Susan