Have You Heard — (poem) by Patricia Gomes on AuthorsDen

Reviewed on April 4, 2006

you have such amazing insight into the foibles and tragedies and the ... the ways of human need/interaction, etc.
you...oh, your work has always simply gotten me/got to me ...you have a way with universal & personal truths and your Poetry, well..
you, for me, so long gone, ah, Patricia, Ms. Gomes!
(How I wish I was around more...damn, but...life, sigh~)
for me, this, well...brilliant, read it slowly alud silently and wondered and that ending...smashed me right where it was meant...God, I love your work!
powerful, eloquent, more!.....
m.

Reviewed by Jeremy Vaeni

Reviewed on August 31, 2005

I'm conflicted about Trainee Poet's review. On the one hand I've been waiting for the day when someone would come along and actually give a constructive review instead of the same ol' platitudes. On the other hand, the "poet" hasn't got a clue what he's talking about. I'm betting, for example, there's a reason "Little Girl Lost" is in caps. I'm guessing it's the title of the cliche that she plays. Ditto that, "Big Strong Daddy." Anyone? Also, let's see here...yup, the semicolon belongs there. And so on and so forth. Look, poetry isn't all about textbook rules--the primary thing is to have a strong voice and know the rules so that you can confidently demolish them. This is a good poem. If yer gonna be all "Look at me! I'm a poet!" at least have the courtesy to tell us you're still in training. Oh wait...you did. My bad.

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)

Reviewed on August 22, 2005

The truth in this write is staggering! Great write.

Reviewed by Trainee Poet (Reader)

Reviewed on August 18, 2005

I have a few nits:

While "little girl lost" is a cliche, but then it fits well. In second strophe an enjambment between lines 3 and 4, with "Always" (adverb) ommited may be better. Again "big strong daddy" is a cliche, but fits quite well under the circumstance. Line 5 in next strophe can do well replacing the semicolon with a comma. In the concluding line "properly tearful" is kind of an oxymoron, which gives good mileage...but it takes away the high standards this minimalist post
sets. Last line is little too long, considering the slow pace this poem moves with. At last, there are 22 pronouns in such a short poem, which can reduce its value!

I have found some excellent points about this post, especially your enjambment decisions and budgeting of cliches (coz this type of topic will invariably bring cliches into action). You have maintained a nice tension, and more importantly, a balance between emotion and sense. The sensitive and sensible narrative has more than compensated for the small technical things I have mentioned!

This is only the second poem going to my library.

Trainee Poet

Reviewed by Cles Wilson

Reviewed on July 26, 2005

This is a well written, so very truthful masterpiece.

Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

Reviewed on July 23, 2005

Oh how deeply this touched me, outstanding Patricia,

Reindeer

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on July 20, 2005

Yes, Patricia. So well expressed and true. Thank you. Love and peace to you. Regis

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on July 17, 2005

Exquisite tragedy. Have I Heard? Loud and clear.

Ron

Reviewed by Lisa Cannons (Reader)

Reviewed on July 16, 2005

clapping! Hi Pat, loved it as I do all your work, you do of course realise that you could write "Mary had a little lamb" backwards and I'd still give you a standing ovation! lol
missed you!

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi

Reviewed on July 16, 2005

Yeah, failure to communicate in a relationship brings a dark cloud over the whole relationship. Powerful write, Patricia!

God bless,

Sandie.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Reviewed on July 16, 2005

One of my favorite quotes, and this poem truly fits that quote to a tee, Patricia.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Reviewed on July 16, 2005

Sounds familiar to me!!

Well written!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on July 15, 2005

Pat, this soft almost nonchalant write is riveting, and shouts
its meaning to the senses...

Eileen

Reviewed by Sue Hess

Reviewed on July 15, 2005

too sad...i like the way you wrote this...and of course, i agree, the disaster is the lack of communication not what either of them did or did not do

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on July 15, 2005

WOW. Powerfully expressed moral. Lose the communication, you lose it all...DON'T I KNOW IT. That's what happened between me and my ex...we stopped communicating except to fight, and then we didn't WANT to talk to each other. The marriage died...well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(

Reviewed by Patricia Gomes

Reviewed on July 15, 2005

Jerry, my love, the point is the lack of communication on both sides. No one, male OR female, except maybe Jackie Stallone, is a mind reader.

I loathe women who feign helplessness as much as I loathe the key jigglers.

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

Reviewed on July 15, 2005

So! The moral is, don't order for your wife, don't come of manly, don't expect blowjobs, don't jiggle your keys and hide the razors. LOL Sorry, Patricia, my mind is evil today. Funny you brought up the lambchops, if you want check out the novel I have on these days you might get a kick out of it, not Chapter 1 but the very first one.