The Tyrant, the man, my Dad

You made my childhood scary,

I feared you when I was bad.

Trying so hard to make you happy,

The tyrant, the man, my dad.

I waited patiently everyday,

To hear those three little words.

“I love you” was all you needed to say,

But they were rarely heard.

Teaching me about life’s little things,

I loved every moment of time.

Sometimes thinking and hoping too,

That your heart was completely mine.

Like every child, I brought disappointment,

When you yelled I was meek and scared.

Trying to show you that I could be good,

And you would show me you cared.

I failed in so many ways,

I could never quite get it right.

Eventually I stopped trying so hard,

And ended my daily fight.

Years went by and I grew up,

You grew older and started to change.

I started to see the love you showed,

It was foreign and totally strange.

My wedding day, I’ll never forget,

Saying you were proud and loved me too.

Even though they were seldom heard,

I knew those words were true .

No more pedestals or illusions grand,

I can finally see what’s real.

Seeing inside your heart and soul,

You began to truly feel.

Our time was so limited you passed away,

And now I’m left alone to cry.

I had one last talk with you,

But didn’t say goodbye.

No more chances for words unsaid,

I can’t tell you about the hate and pain.

In all this time I finally let go,

Just look at all I’ve gained.

Here I am, your youngest girl,

I have so much to be grateful for.

I want so desperately to share with you now,

Please walk through my door.

I’m just here waiting to see you again,

With a smile and that twinkle in your eye.

My heart is filled with love for you dad,

The brightest star in my sky.

Someday I hope to see you again,

To regale our memories past.

For now I’ll reminisce all alone,

And watch as old shadows are cast.

I love you, I hate you, I miss you…

The tyrant, the man, my dad.