A Mad Waiter! (New Revisied work)

Good day to you sir's and madams and mams,

Tonight I'll be serving pickled turnips and jam;

I do hope you like them the way that they are,

All gushy and hot in an old mason jar;


I can serve you potatoes, or coconut stew,

I can make some green collards, yes, that’s what I’ll do!

Delicious red herring, Dill pickles that’s fried

How about some fresh liver, or buffalo eyes?



I can make you hot tea ,with sugar and cream

Or very hot coffee, without any steam

I can give you a basket, with my homemade bread;;

Curl your hair while you’re eating, or while you’re in bed.


I can serve you some cider in Grandmother's shoe,

With a straw that is pink and purple and blue;

Or I can serve you bananas in Fido's old dish,

I'll even throw in a dish flopping fish.


Now tell me dear sirs and madams and mams,

Would you like pickled turnips and pink looking jam?


We don't like your idea of what we should have,

And we think we’ll be leaving for we see you are mad!

You’re a horrible cook, and a silly ole thing

Why your place is a mess, and your face is all green


Take your horrid old turnips,

Your nasty pink jam;

Your dish flopping fish,

And get out while you can!.





I will not take my turnips and pink looking jam,

For that is not the Thing that I am;

I will not take my fish that is fresh as they come,

I will not get, out NO!

You can't make me run!


So the thing stood in silence,

To wait their reply;

He knew what was coming,

He could see in their eyes.



First flew the fish right over his head,

Then came the jam all pinkish and red;

Next came the turnips he watched them fly by,

Then out of nowhere one blacked his eye.


Enough is enough! Said the thing standing there,

They got up to leave they were going somewhere;

Now what will I do, Where will I go?

Who'll clean up this mess, just me and Fido?


The awful ole thing stacked it all on his back,

Picked up Fido's old dish, his cane and his hat;

Then opened the door, and walked out of sight;

To find a new restaurant to cook in that night

Janice Engle/Rainbows









copyright 03-03-2003