Love, I have loved you
even before I knew.
There seems to be some
part of me that wants
to be with you.

Every time you call
I can feel my hopes go up.
I want to believe maybe this time
it will go better.
But when ever I show you a little
more of my heart and let you see
who I really am I feel so afraid
you wont understand and need to tuck
that part of me away.

Why have you called me like you
do? Why did you wait so long to?
As lonely as I can feel at times,
I know we just weren't right.
And it has taken you trying to
reenter my life for me to finally
realize. I just don't have it in me
anymore to try with you one more time/
I know somethings changed in me.
Something in me is wiser then once I had been.

With you it seems all or nothing. You leave no room for me to breathe.
How can life grow in this space, how
can love ever really be when I fear
being weighed down by your judgments of
me? And you can't seem to suspend them.
This is why you will never know me.

I don't want to fight with you or be the target of your tirades.
I wasn't the one whom broke your heart.
No you can't really see my face.
The hardness you have shown me you know
was never necessary. I don't believe
you ever did trust me.

So now you must not come back to me.

I think there comes a time

in everyones life when we can

hold onto something too tight

and have no choice but to let it go.

Nothing in this world and no one

is completely under your control.

I still don't know what you

wanted from me and why

you couldn't just let me be.

Don't blame me for not

being your match or for me

saying honestly,

I just can't return to you.