GET
OUT
OF
MY
WAY
You insignificant
OTHER PEOPLE
For
I
Am
STROLLER-MOM!!!
And LO!
BEHOLD
My
Mighty
"BATTLE-STROLLER X-11"
The size of a small
COW
With
Seating for 4
And
Sidewinder missiles
And Internet Access
(Walmart's TOP OF THE LINE!)
NOTHING
Is too good
For my gurgling bundle of joy!
DON'T
EVEN
LOOK
AT
ME
As I crush your feet
Underneath my squeaking wheels
You cretin
For
I
Am
STROLLER-MOM!!!
(You B*****S better RECOGNIZE!)
BEHOLD
How I fearlessly
Thrust my one-year-old
Into the path
Of an oncoming TRUCK
Because
JOY-BUNDLE
Has an invisible
FORCE FIELD
That only I can see
And surely
No truck driver
Would dare the
WRATH
Of
STROLLER-MOM!!!
(Entire PANZER DIVISIONS
MELT TO PULP Before ME...
Or at least they SHOULD!)
My world
Has been
Conveniently
Reduced to
ME
And my
JOY-BUNDLE
And the next place I have to
SHOP
(I don't even acknowledge
My own HUSBAND,
You think I'll acknowledge
YOU?!?
HAhahahahahaha...N*gga, PLEASE)
Therefore
YOU
Do not exist
Only WE exist
And you better
LET US CUT IN FRONT OF YOU
And not say anything
Because I'll give you
My patented
Withering
STROLLER-MOM GLARE
(Don't you KNOW
It's WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST?!)
FEAR ME
As I invade all restaurants
And take the table next to
YOU
And I don't care
If you HAVE
Chosen this night
To propose to your beloved
Because
I
Am
STROLLER-MOM
And if my Wonderful
JOY-BUNDLE
Wakes up
And
YOWLS
Like a CAT BEING NEUTERED
You better just
SUCK IT UP
And
Get used to it
Maybe I'll calm him down
Maybe I won't
Because
I
Am
STROLLER-MOM
And
I am Alpha and Omega
I've got everything
That matters to
ME
So
I don't care about
YOU
I don't have to.