I wrote this a few years back *as* Mood Sept Sissy...

I do have OCD and it was how my life was at the time, and still is in many factions...

What If I Die Before Three...

I awake well before noon and besides my OCD I really am dying.

First words out of your mouth as you crawl out of that bed at three PM everyday is what the f*** do you want; not a question rather a daily mantra that you have shouted at me for so long it plays over in my dreams.
I know it by heart, in my heart, in the air I breathe.

WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT NOW!
The Mantra is shouted again.

Yes; that is a scream you hear; I hear it everyday in my ear, my head, my soul; with each breath you utter my psyche shudders; I am not afraid of you no not at all; I fear you no more than I fear death itself as this dance is one I must do alone plays before my mind's eye before I get to my final performance, but this is old, really old and any fear I do feel is "fear of dying alone".

No one to talk to; such a very few who care; let me rephrase that "might care" those few are part of the reason why I hang on so to what I want so to let go but they too never arise before three.

So what "if" what if I die before three?
Mood Sept Sissy
8-25-04

I penned this as *Mood Sept Sissy*
Mistress Reba
Copyright © m r 2/28/08