I Would Have Missed You

Do you remember my call?

Paranoid….Frantic….Desperate

I just wanted to prepare you

a meal

Your objection was uneasy

Working late again the excuse

I packed your dinner regardless

Surely a long night of crunching

       numbers would arouse an appetite

On the road thinking of the blankets

       we once shared

How - long – has – it – been - now?

The destination was desolate-

       Lights off without a soul

Maybe you just went home

Kids at grandma’s and you not there

Benefit – of – the – doubt

At work that night along side my

mistress,

Whiskey and Ice

Demons set free like a band of

       political prisoners, poised

       to avenge themselves of

       oppression laid down

       by a heavy hand-Knowing

       it was him not accounting

       that kept you out

“A game of darts before you leave?”

           Asked Taxi Tony

“Not tonight Tony, I have to smoke my old lady”

Thank God Tony

Laughed – it – off

Up the stairs I crawled

       into my apartment conveniently

       placed above the neon signs of

       my regression

Staring at the very shotgun shell

       that almost put my brains

       on the ceiling of our bedroom

I thought-

Mostly – of – fault

Conclusion

While sitting on the hood of my car

       outside your apartment

       Steel – in – hand

If you show, you will seek your revenge

       in the afterlife

Problem

One shell

What if he followed you home?

Tire Iron

I’m ashamed to say it-

       but with two, you

       were a sure thing

       with the tire iron

Path – of – least – resistance

Do not know nor care

       what you were doing when

       my call came in that night

Whatever it was, I’m glad you were doing it

       until I sobered up!

I would have missed you