yes i agree with bonnie, it felt like you combined two poems into one, i was still with writer's block when you moved to another subject but it is well written and i can sympathize with the block
Hi Laura,
I enjoyed this write, until I reached the
second to the last verse. It's a lovely
verse, but jumps too quickly from writing,
to spirituality. The last two lines blend
the subjects, but leaves the reader hanging.
Try another verse, before "Parched is the soul that".
Introducing spirit into writing. It will make it all
come together nicely for the reader.
It's a good write. Please accept my review in good faith,
as it is intended.
First Edition Translation of Teselas by Carmen Crespo X111 César Simón Poetry Prixe 2016 Translated from Spanish by Robin Ouzman Hislop and Amparo Arrospíde
Inspirational poetry, written from the heart and soul. Verses that are well-suited for reading on a rainy day and that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
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I enjoyed this write, until I reached the
second to the last verse. It's a lovely
verse, but jumps too quickly from writing,
to spirituality. The last two lines blend
the subjects, but leaves the reader hanging.
Try another verse, before "Parched is the soul that".
Introducing spirit into writing. It will make it all
come together nicely for the reader.
It's a good write. Please accept my review in good faith,
as it is intended.
Love, Bonnie
P.S. Please do the same for me. Thank You