Reality?

Oh no! Not again, I’ve awoken to another day,please just for once try and let me have my own way.
Would it be so hard for once just to give it a try? Just let me have what I want and just let me die.

What is left for me, what does the future hold? Thinking about this, just makes me feel cold. I can’t remember now the last time that I smiled for real, yes, I smile out of politeness, but that is not how I feel.

I lost the will to live amongst my endless tears and now it has been so many, many, years. I now know that I cannot go back to what I had before,
but I also know that I am tired of trying new things any more.

I am sitting here now alone in the early morning light, In my head I try to think positive and try to make things right. I am at this moment taking solace in the sound of the falling rain,
as it helps me a little to fight, the battles in my brain.

Maybe I am wrong and on that fateful day, I really did die, but it all seems so real here and every day I still cry.
At times, I think that maybe reality I cannot see so well and this is not real life as it appears to be, this is really hell!