My Addiction

12/2/08

 I told you I depend on you and you ran with it

I told you all my shit, hung it on the line and you took advantage of my weaknesses

I invested my minimum wage and many hours in the day in you, humor you found in my naiveness

I shared your personality with others; they've been corrupted as well

Now we joke and exchange tales of your past inflictions

I told the family I gave up on you I couldn't handle the disappointment

But the next day was a bad day and I desperately turned to you

I sat in my car with the Roots speaking truth, broke you down rolled you up and showed faith to you

A sighed with satisfaction, completion to my world

Flooded the effects with whatever my taste required

So now I’m a liar with guilt to confront

But what can I say? I’m addicted to the addiction of you

I use to disrespect your name in vain unaware of your meaning

Unaware of what you are able to bring to an empty table

Now I put you on the highest of pedestals and protect your intentions to keep me contingent

and I feel guilty again..

I would love to believe that you and I could part ways with ease one day soon

That I hold the control and the ability to say "no"

But the reciprocation is worthy of the risk and life time affects that could be one day discovered

I’m admittedly addicted to you...

What is it that you posses that keeps me a possession in your palm

Is it the process of dismantling the swisher so sweet to prepare for your arrival

Or is it the group sessions I partake in and the fulfilling verbal interactions

Or possibly it could be the easy escape route I look forward to after a long tedious day

Which ever excuse I convince myself to believe

I still live with this love I have for you called addiction