Walking in the shadows, as I am apt to do, I come across some unusual things now and then. But, nothing so rare as the discovery I stumbled onto last week. Stalking through life in my usual manner, imagine my surprise when I came across, of all things, an angel lying in my path.
She lay there, bruised and battered, more on the inside than outside. Her body was dusty and spent, exhaustion showed in her every fiber. One leg was turned beneath her and her wings were in sad repair. One wing was broken and the feathers on both were wilted and frayed.
As I approached her, she kept her eyes downcast and her head hung with what was part exhaustion and part shame. She was dirty, dusty and her clothing was in tattered disarray. She was everything you would NOT expect an angel to be, but angel she was and of that there was no doubt.
Walking up to her, my eyes drank in every inch of her. Her lithe body was unimpressive, bundled in the flowing white garments lying crumpled around her and camouflaging her form. Exactly how she had come to be here, I had no idea. But, I cared not why she was here, just that she WAS here.
She was an earth-bound angel, she may have come from heaven at one time, but for whatever reason she was now firmly bound to the earth. She was lost, alone and clearly frightened, though her posture showed a defiant stiffness that knew no fear.
Standing before her, I waited patiently for her to look up at me. I didn’t wish to ruin the magick of the moment and feared that anything sudden I might do would send her soaring off into the clouds or scampering into the brush.
“Its OK, little one.” I spoke quietly. “You have nothing to fear from me.”
Still, her head hung limp and her reddish brown hair clung protectively to her face. Slowly she began to move. Her head tilted to the side and I glimpsed a view of her spectacular beauty, so startling it near took my breath away. As her head lifted more, I felt my eyes drawn to the soft brown abyss in each of her eyes.
“A man could drown in those deep pools of brown.”
I heard my voice speak in a stuttering sort of stammer, but I am still not certain if I actually spoke out loud or if the words merely echoed in my mind.
She was exquisite. There really isn’t anything else to say. I pride myself in my ability to use words, but this description was beyond means of conveying in mere mortal words. Torn, limp and battered, she was still of such phenomenal beauty and grace that just imagining her leaves me speechless.
“Can you speak?” I heard my hoarse voice whisper.
She gazed up at me with an innocence so pure it made me blush. I feared she could read as much of me as I was reading of her. Giant bottomless pits of brown stared up at me, and she shook her head side to side in what I could only assume was either an answer in the negative or a sign of non-comprehension.
I knelt slowly by her, moving with easy and reassuring movements. I swallowed hard, for as I neared her I could hear something like music, it surrounded her much like an aura, it encompassed her. She seemed neither aware of it, nor why I seemed so taken aback by it.
She didn’t pull away as I expected. I could see comprehension in her eyes, but she seemed to fear me not at all. I am not a pure person. I am not even sure I AM a person. In fact, at times I wonder just exactly what it is that I AM. I know I am dark, violent at times and that I am without conscience as most seem to be burdened. I live by my own unique rules of right and wrong, killing doesn’t bother me, but I would never murder a soul. I take what I need, when I need it. I don’t ask for quarter and I seldom give it.
She knew ALL of this, I could see it mirrored in her eyes. She knew ME, exactly what and who I am, yet she accepted me as if I were as natural a being as she came across every day. Not a trace of fear or worry shown in her face. Oddly enough, she looked relieved, as if she knew she had found a protector.
She had, indeed. That look of acceptance and confidence won her an eternity of my devotion and protection. Her ability to SEE me and not fear me, well, it swept me off of my feet. Though I knew full well she was above me, I felt I had met a kindred spirit. I had met someone that knew what it was to be me, maybe not exactly understanding me, but somehow accepting me.
I made a soft reassuring sound in my throat and held my arms out to her. She lifted her arms and wrapped them around my neck as I gently swept her into my arms. Her soft little face buried into my neck as I lifted her. I carried her back down the trail, away from the light and deep into my shadows.
As the shadows grew deeper, I could feel her heart hammering wildly. I somehow sensed she had never ventured this far off of the beaten path. I supposed that angels too, had places that were off limits to them and by the way her heart was drumming to a crescendo, I knew I was taking her to places she had never dreamed existed.
It wasn’t natural, taking her into the dark recesses of this forbidden forest. I knew this, not only in my mind, but by the way that nature itself was crying out against me. She herself, never once resisted me. Everything else did. Vines tangled about my feet, seeking desperately to trip me up and slow my escape. Briars and thorns tore at my flesh. Sharp and jagged rocks littered the path, causing me to stumble and constantly battle for my precarious footing.
On the outer edges of the forest (they dared invade no further), birds shrieked and their accusatory cries split the air.
“Blasphemy” they screamed shrilly into the air, ripping the silence asunder.
Even the darker creatures seemed at first bewildered and then angrily defiant. I don’t know if they resisted from fear for the graceful creature nuzzled into my neck, or if they were offended to share their space with such a wholesome presence.
Snakes sank their fangs into me, their venom mixing with my black blood, doing little more than invigorating me. I could hear the hiss of their forked tongues as they struck at me and as others tried valiantly to intertwine themselves around my legs.
Thunder rolled high above and the wind tore at the trees around me. Branches and leaves stung my face as they were ripped loose and flung against me.
Snarls and growls echoed from the darkness as I strode forcefully deeper and deeper into the forest that had always enshrouded me in its protective embrace. When I came to near the edges of the path, claws and talons tore at me, ripping my flesh and tearing chunks from my limbs.
As I neared the center of the forest, shadows enveloped me once again in the comfortable blanket of darkness and security. I sensed myself once again wrapped in the protective shroud that only creatures of my kind can appreciate and respect.
All else fell away from me, protestations, grumbling fears and anxieties giving way to their natural fear and dread of the darkness that was my home. No more my challengers, they left the angel to meet her fate and to accept what seemed her destiny.
Feeling a weak tremble course through my angel’s frail body, I lowered her gently to the ground.
“Stay here and you will come to no harm for you are within my sacred circle.”
I spoke to her, as I pointed to the ring of trees surrounding the small clearing.
“I will be gone but for a moment.”
I quickly strode from the clearing and returned in an instant bearing armfuls of wood and kindling. Bending to my task, I soon had a roaring fire going and I stood back to watch the shadows dance with the flickering light at the edge of the firelight.
Gingerly, I scooped the angel once again into my arms and carried her nearer the sacred warmth of the fire. I pulled the cloak from my shoulders and flung it onto the ground, making a nest of warmth and comfort for my new-found friend.
Though all else around me feared my intentions, the fragile little angle never wavered for a moment in her trust of me. I lay down beside her and she buried herself against me, absorbing my warmth and reveling in the security of my protection.
She snuggled into me and I could once again hear (or rather, sense) the eerie, but comforting music that seemed to seep out of her soul. It wasn’t a sound you could hear, it just seemed to sort of ooze into your mind and consciousness. It was beyond hypnotic, this angelic music and soon I was rapt with the beauty of it and lost in its charms.
©2006 J.L. Day
